Before Sunset
I saw this film twice in the theatre, rare for me. I hate these multiplexes and their film choices, which have a huge impact on what can and cannot get made in Hollywood. This was in one of the shrinking number of independant theatres. Even still, I greatly prefer DVD's cause I hate sitting in one uncomfortable chair for long periods and, basically, I'm hooked on commentary tracks. Watching a film without the commentary track, now that I'm spoiled, is like having sex without coming (this is a rough analogy, folks, commentary tracks are nowhere near orgasms, in my book). I want the whole deal, the movie and the director's analysis of it. Or something, Michael Moore let his interns do the commentary track, which was a good move. I like Mike, but he is a bit pompous in his own Midwestern effacing, modest way. Even when the director just drivels on about technical issues, it provides a much appreciated perspective, since I'm now directing films myself. Sometimes the commentaries are truly interesting, particularly with the great directors. Anyway, I digress, again.
I also saw Before Sunrise, which shows the principals meeting on a train in Europe and spending one wonderful day together. They, for some reason, don't exchange info but plan to meet one year later. The girl's grandmother dies and she can't make it, though the guy does. He writes a book, basically about the experience and nine years later, while promoting the book in Paris...guess who shows up? This is the setting for Before Sunset. They roam around Paris, again. He's supposed to get back on a plane to his wife and kid, but never quite makes it. As they go through their second date together you begin to realize that these two, although they've certainly gone on with their lives in the interim, never really got over each other. That original, though very brief, first encounter, was IT. But, they were both young and neither realized it at the time. It's only when they see each other again, with the benefit of nine years worth of perspective, that they can see it. It's an interesting twist because I think what happens 99% of the time is the exact opposite, two people come together in their twenties, everyone around them is pairing up, they do it too, and then realize later on that it was NOT the real thing, just the right time.
I guess one lesson I take from this is how difficult it can be to appreciate something without comparison, without perspective. Or how people's interests and goals, and what they look for in a partner, can change over time. But, also, how our basic natures stay the same. My son turns thirteen today. In my religion of birth, though never affiliation or practice...he is a man, now. Although he's grown quite a bit in these thirteen years, so much of what I see in him today is exactly the same nature I've seen at every point along the way since his birth. I've learned and grown incredibly, experienced so much in my life, but my own nature is essentially unchanged and will probably remain so. If people are lucky or strong their core does remain authentic and one can stay in touch with that always. But so much comes along in our lives to change us, change our fundamental relationship to our own inner nature. I think most people are compromised. Their egos damped down continually by demands of those around them. It is easy to lose touch with oneself, and I honestly believe the great majority of humanity does just that. Thoreau said it best, "Most men lead lives of quiet desperation".
So, when two people, "have chemistry", I think it's essentially the coming together of two genuine kindred spirits. It's powerful stuff, because, for whatever layers of platitude and compromise are involved, the real stuff always bubbles up, like weeds coming up through cracks in the sidewalk. BUT, that's only half the story, and, the film is equally attentive to the other critical component... timing. Sometimes we do meet the right person, but, it's the wrong time. Sometimes we meet the somewhat right person, and it's the right time. I've experienced both, not only with men but with jobs and artistic opportunities. So much of it is chance, or fate, out of our control. The only part we can control is to just be attentive to when those connections, that chemistry, does occur & try to appreciate and fulfill it. The most important part, I think, is staying true to that inner core and connection to our maker, that way you can trust your instincts, even when the noise around you is drowning it out.
I also saw Before Sunrise, which shows the principals meeting on a train in Europe and spending one wonderful day together. They, for some reason, don't exchange info but plan to meet one year later. The girl's grandmother dies and she can't make it, though the guy does. He writes a book, basically about the experience and nine years later, while promoting the book in Paris...guess who shows up? This is the setting for Before Sunset. They roam around Paris, again. He's supposed to get back on a plane to his wife and kid, but never quite makes it. As they go through their second date together you begin to realize that these two, although they've certainly gone on with their lives in the interim, never really got over each other. That original, though very brief, first encounter, was IT. But, they were both young and neither realized it at the time. It's only when they see each other again, with the benefit of nine years worth of perspective, that they can see it. It's an interesting twist because I think what happens 99% of the time is the exact opposite, two people come together in their twenties, everyone around them is pairing up, they do it too, and then realize later on that it was NOT the real thing, just the right time.
I guess one lesson I take from this is how difficult it can be to appreciate something without comparison, without perspective. Or how people's interests and goals, and what they look for in a partner, can change over time. But, also, how our basic natures stay the same. My son turns thirteen today. In my religion of birth, though never affiliation or practice...he is a man, now. Although he's grown quite a bit in these thirteen years, so much of what I see in him today is exactly the same nature I've seen at every point along the way since his birth. I've learned and grown incredibly, experienced so much in my life, but my own nature is essentially unchanged and will probably remain so. If people are lucky or strong their core does remain authentic and one can stay in touch with that always. But so much comes along in our lives to change us, change our fundamental relationship to our own inner nature. I think most people are compromised. Their egos damped down continually by demands of those around them. It is easy to lose touch with oneself, and I honestly believe the great majority of humanity does just that. Thoreau said it best, "Most men lead lives of quiet desperation".
So, when two people, "have chemistry", I think it's essentially the coming together of two genuine kindred spirits. It's powerful stuff, because, for whatever layers of platitude and compromise are involved, the real stuff always bubbles up, like weeds coming up through cracks in the sidewalk. BUT, that's only half the story, and, the film is equally attentive to the other critical component... timing. Sometimes we do meet the right person, but, it's the wrong time. Sometimes we meet the somewhat right person, and it's the right time. I've experienced both, not only with men but with jobs and artistic opportunities. So much of it is chance, or fate, out of our control. The only part we can control is to just be attentive to when those connections, that chemistry, does occur & try to appreciate and fulfill it. The most important part, I think, is staying true to that inner core and connection to our maker, that way you can trust your instincts, even when the noise around you is drowning it out.
posted by Intervision at 2:20 PM
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