Slideways

Playing at the Aquarius, Sideways confused me at first, particularly the title, till I visualized it. I see the outgoing actor character pulling Paul Giamatti's dead weight character like a ball & chain, sideways, along the ground. The two childhood friends are travelling up the coast, through Los Olivas, which is a little wine region near Santa Barbara. Giamatti & the two women they meet are wine aficionados & from what I heard from a vintner at dinner last night, the dialouge was very authentic.

Anyway, the two guys approach life in opposite ways. One is a confident risk-taker who wants to have some big fun before his impending nuptials & the other is basically scared of his shadow, resistant to everything except his ex-wife, who's majorly moved on, until the end where he does finally open up a bit to a woman and shows some balls on a caper to help his buddy.

I do feel sorry for the flaccid folks of the universe. How do they stand such boring lives? What do they think at the end...wow I made a million meals and now I don't have to make any more... nice life, thanks god. I remember as a child asking my grandmother what was important to her and she actually did say food. Why do so few people really live their lives? I don't get it, I never will. I guess it's fear of risk. Some seem compelled in life to avoid pain & therefore risk. Others have more confidence in their ability to handle pain & adversity and put the need for security below the need for growth and excitement.

I'm sure heaven/nirvana will be very peaceful and happy, and many folks seek that peace on earth. That stuff is important to heal pain. I've cried tears here, many, they were salty and real. The material world is so changing and amazing, filled with imperfect and interesting people. I am exactly where I want to be, doing exactly what I want to do.

But I felt sorry for this little man. I hope the daring actor will have some positive effect on his life... it looked like it did, at least for a while. Do the boring ever get better on their own, or do they just latch on to a live one for their once-in-a-lifetime ride.. always being pulled sideways instead of unfolding in an upward or expansive ripple of risk? You can't sub out growth. No amount of money or fastening of oneself to another, or to a church or a social group, will give a person the understanding & connection they seek in life. It's a road we each have to travel alone.

This film is the subject of an upcoming discussion group at my church, where, I assume, the issue of various moralities will arise. The actor guy not only seeks to and does cheat on his wife-in-two-days-to-be, but he leads on and lies to one of the women he cheats with. I think most people would agree that's immoral & Giamatti doesn't really do anything overtly wrong except break and enter to retrieve his friends wallet containing the super-special wedding rings.

Jack is definitely about excitement & comes off as immoral, yet I sympathized and identified far more with him than the half-dead Miles. The lying crap, I hate. But, his overall attitude is far more appealing to me. I wonder if my church friends will see it the same way?

I wonder if they will notice the more subtle immoralities of the understated, underalive one. For example, he's the one who lets on that Jack is about to be married. Ooops... did that just slip out, did I just betray my friend? Was I trying to protect someone here, was I trying to be honest with this woman or was I jealous of my friend and secretly wanted to see him (literally) busted? Either way, the guy takes no responsibity, and even lies to Jack that he did not bust him. What about the immorality of not taking responsibility for yourself, hiding from your life, lying to your friend? I believe he also lies to the woman that he is a published author when he's not.

For me morality has to do with honesty, authenticity, taking responsibility for everything you can and dealing the best you can with the rest. People are sometimes so ashamed of honoring themselves or even just standing up and being themselves that they become some sad, buckled version of themselves. To me, that disrespects the unique person God created and is therefore immoral.

Parents do need to sublimate themselves to their children to an extent and sometimes people need to appropriately put their own individual needs below that of others in working or possibly even social situations, or in marriages. I'm not Ayn Rand here glorifying some self-absorbed lifestyle. I'm just saying that we need to accord our inner spirits the same respect and dignity we afford anyone else, and Miles' dishonesty, not only with others, but himself as well, makes his moral shortcomings more significant than Jack's in my opinion.