When Will I Be Loved?

Neve Campbell blew me away with her last film, The Company. Halfway through the commentary track which she narrates with the legendary director Robert Altman, it becomes apparent that the project was Neve's and she brought him in. She's a trained ballerina, the highest of highs in the world of dance, and she was one of the only actual actors in the film which was a fictional story of a ballet company. All the dancers, however, were a real ballet company and they basically accepted her as one of their own. To command the respect, not only of someone like Altman, but a ballet company, with which she dances, is a huge accomplishment for a young woman in Hollywood, whose main resume item was Party of Five.

So of course I was very interested to see her in this film, and I was not disappointed, although her role was limited to acting a very interesting part. She plays a confident, very bright, artistically savvy, adventurous, sexually aggressive New Yorker. Since this is a character I have absolutely nothing in common with, I couldn't relate to the film at all. Actually, at the end I really couldn't. Turns out she had no heart.

Remember, I've got the two buttons, the "Romantic Idealist" and the "Hardened Cynical Bastard". But, you can't be either. It has to run that line between the two. If you get too cynical, you lose your heart and you're over. Too oblivious and glosssy and you're just out of it. You need to be aware of what's going on, just try to shed some light & take it higher. Once you get vengeful, and greedy, as she did, your mental state sucks. Then you, and everyone around you, loses.

To me, an idealist is not someone who sees the world with rose colored glasses but someone who sees the overall evolution of the world's community in a positive way. Yin/yang requires both positive and negative forces, which will always be with us to some degree. However, the world continues to evolve in a positive direction, in that, we deal with the material world in a way which will provide a better, more comfortable, healthier standard of living for more people and we are connecting up mentally... slowly, but surely.

Anyway, in the film, Neve ends up feeling exploited, or maybe just dislikes the attitude of the guy she's dating or whatever & at the end fucks him over so disproportionately... it really kind of makes you wonder how/why she got that cold and vindictive and greedy. At the end, the character just didn't make sense to me, and the film, while beautiful & interesting, fell apart. Yeah, the guy was pimpish, setting her up for a big take, but Neve plays a woman fully in charge of her sexuality and it just didn't make sense that she would be so threatened by the behavior.

I guess her main motivation was greed. She was selfish and spoiled, and, as they went into it on the commentary track, sort of a man-hating lesbian who just needed a good stiff one every now and then. Come to think of it, this woman is on a different track from me completely. I did explore the girl thing in college, but, after that Hayser housewife deal... let's just say I've had enough female energy to last me a good long while. Sure, guys can be a hassle, but, they have what it takes to complement and compliment me. I love their muscles and pep and lack of drama... I love their interest in me, and in the world in general.

So, check out the film, if only for the sex scenes. And remember when you watch it, we're not all man haters. I think men who truly love and appreciate and understand women are pretty rare, and visa versa. I do love men though. And maybe that's why they like me too, I can relate to them, appreciate them. So many women simply attract men, all they really offer up is their bods, and for lots of men, that's plenty. When men and women avoid the boxes and roles and traps, the blend is the best. I don't know how the same sex relationships can offer the same yin/yang dynamic or opportunity for growth and expansion. I'm not looking for someone just like me... one is enough. I'm looking for my male counterpart.