Inauguration Day... ready for some more status quo? Watching all the powerful men line up to watch a silver spoon son pass the torch to himself.... let's just hope we don't have to watch him pass it to his brother four years from now.
Larry Summers, Harvard President, was a bit too blatant recently. Less than 15% of Harvard's top earners (tenured professors) are women, similar to the other Ivies and what WSGR partnership is up to now after over 20 yrs. of taking in classes of 50% women. It's even worse than that among VC partners, investment bankers, money managers or top execs.
What always fascinates me is the denial and arrogance of those who acceed to power on their penises. They always seem to think it's something they earned completely on their own dime once they get there. Like this Larry S, they think they got there because the poor women can't think spacially, or are too emotional. And, there are legitaimate brain differences in the sexes.
So, how do you explain why women can't break into other areas near big money, like law and management which are almost all about verbal skill, something women clearly do better than men, due to their, sorry boys, bigger corpus callosum?
Well I can tell you what the Wilson women would bring up at their annual woman bonding dinner. Most men prefer to groom their own. No need to worry about possible sexual misunderstandings or "comments taken out of context" that could end a career, no worry of ever being accused of anything. No need to worry you'll invest years training her only to have her take off with a baby. Male associate=no worries. Female=worries.
The women, true to their stereotypes, were pretty hard on each other. I found this in the housewife realm too and I think it does stem from the inferior position. The women partners, what few there were, had to work twice as hard as the men to get there and it was harder to please them. They were swamped with young women looking for mentors & had little to offer.
People tend to treat others the way they themselves have been treated. Women get harsher treatment in general and when they go near real money & power, forget it.
They didn't have much power there. One thing I've learned is that when people don't help you, it's often not that they don't want to, it's that they can't. They'd prefer to be seen as uncaring than impotent. Sad, I know. Being seen as powerful is very compelling, important and addictive. Remember, it's the game, the eternal external power play I posted about on 11/26/04.
It's about external power, which is very seductive. When people get it, their internal structure weakens (cause they don't need it as much), so, if you take that away, it's bad. You see guys around here, many, shaken out by the bust, careers in tatters, marriages in shatters, it's a bummer. Lucky me, I never got much of the external shit and had to rely on good old fashioned thinking and feeling, far more lasting and satisfying.
Anyway, back to my Wilson saga, the male partner I worked with had taken a male associate the year before and I was basically treated like the unwanted child. While Bob (who had neither a working mother or wife) took Chris out to long golf games, showing him the ropes, developing a relationship & contacts, I was relegated to 10 minutes of his time at 7 or 8:00 at night.
While Chris was taken to a birthday lunch, along with almost everyone on our floor, thrown a big event, I was not even wished a happy birthday. I was even told, by a male associate, that Bob was a raging sexist. These are just a few examples. Of course, Bob never said anything in front of women that could be taken the wrong way. Bob is very smart.
When I was mentioned by Larry Sonsini at a major event, became pretty visible and worked with a lot of senior partners early on, I saw some of the more senior men who had previously shown interest turn off. I think they would have had more respect for my assertive attitude, had I been a man.
As challenging as it was just to be a woman, doing it while up against the biological clock was ridiculous. I clearly remember a big Wilson event, wearing a maternity dress for the first time, seeing how differently everyone treated me. As my stomach extended, it got worse and worse, noone wanted to talk to me about anything BUT the pregnancy. I was dismissed. I don't have to tell you what it was like when I got back from maternity leave.
From my perspective, it was like, why try and push this rock up a hill? World, you want me to be a mommy, fine, let's give it a try. But, while the connections I made with my children and spirit, and to an extent, the other moms, were beautiful, other parts, like being thrown in a pool with a bunch of people with no life preservers, were not. Moreover, children grow up.
It's certainly not impossible to be a "successful woman", even on boys turf. But, for women, there's almost no wiggle room. I know a guy who took 7 yrs. out, early on & still made it, had kids over 40. A woman could never do that. Those years I spent getting on my feet recovering from my childhood cost me far more.
Also, the guy got a clear second chance. I never did. Those second and third chances in a company can make all the difference, so can the right mentoring. So, you guys makin big cash, be humble. There have been many times along the way you were given opportunities you probably would not have had, had you been female or had darker skin. There is nothing more offensive to me than watching boosted men be insensitive to the struggles of others, unable to see any but their own limited perspective.
Next time your trip up might be a little bumpier and you'll learn, as I have, that money and power do corrupt. Money and external power do not come free, to anyone. There is a cost for everything in this world, whether you see it or not.
Monetary success can hinder you, insulate you, hide you, limit your perspective and ability to trust. It can also put you into fear of loss, cut you off from yourself and your happiness and make you believe your own press, plus the endless treadmill & ending up only knowing people just like you or sucking up to you... until you don't even know who you are any more.
I'll get you anything my friend, if it makes you feel alright... cause I don't care too much for money, money can't buy me love.
The Beatles
I'd rather be a free man in my grave, than live like a puppet or a slave.
Bob Marley
Find the cost of freedom, buried in the ground. Mother earth will swalow you, lay your body down.
Neil Young
