Merry Christmas!

For every thing there is a season
And a time for every purpose under heaven.
Eccesiastes 3:1-8

That only which we have within can we see without.
If we meet no gods, it is because we harbor none.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Liberty means responsibility
That is why most men dread it.
George Bernard Shaw

Power corrupts the few while weakness corrupts the many.
Eric Hoffer

The purpose of freedom is to create it for others.
Bernard Malamud

I've heard you say many times
That you're better than no-one
And no-one's better than you
If you really believe that
You know you got nothing to win
And nothing to lose
From fixtures and forces and friends
Your sorrow does stem
That hype you and type you
Making you feel
You must be exactly like them
Bob Dylan - To Ramona

America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between.
Oscar Wilde

Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.
H. L. Mencken

Doubt is not a pleasant mental state, but certainty is a ridiculous one.
Voltaire

New scientific truth does not triumph by convincing its opponents and making them see the light, but rather because its opponents die and a new generation grows up that is familiar with it.
Max Planck

One generation's heresy is the next generation's orthodoxy.
Sigmund Freud

One climbs
One sees
One descends
One sees no longer
But one has seen
Che Guevara

Energy is eternal delight.
William Blake

May the force be with you
Star Wars

Start Me Up

Start Me Up
Originally uploaded by Intervisions.

At least I'll always have this guitar to remember Drapers by. Garcia started his career there and I've met a lot of great musicians there. They'll be missed!

The State of Music 2004

A friend of mine seems to think my rantings are "negative". First off, let me just say that we recently reelected George Bush, there's no job growth or much economic growth, the chasm between rich and poor keeps widening, we are acting imperialistically and killing people, for very little reason. I think anyone who doesn't notice, care, speak out on all this, and more, ought to, cause we are all a part of this world and it's our responsibility to be aware of the big world out there, not hide out in some little shell hoping it gets better some day.

Having said that, while I'm obviously opinionated, and will speak out about positions, people, songs, ideas, whatever, that I don't like (or do!), I've always been an optimist and an idealist and love watching the world move forward. Overall, we are growing in awareness and fulfilment, and most of the big changes I see are positive. Perhaps it sounds like I'm somehow dismayed or upset about the direction music is headed. I'm not!! I'm concerned that those in power will hold up change but I'm convinced the change will come and it's the dream of that happening that inspires me to inform and motivate others.

First, take Hillary Rosen (please). She's done as much as anyone to protect the rights of these big companies to this huge catalog of great music. But, there's hope. She took a nice little walk with Larry Lessig (check out the link) and is coming around quite nicely to this idea of creative commons licenses. She says sees response in the music industry, that the artists are calling more of the shots as these labels merge, then lay off staff. These are exactly the changes I had hoped to see, you can't expect things to change overnight. It's about direction and being part of the solution... and speaking out and organizing.

The biggest part of the solution is the technology, which will make music accessible. I see huge upside for the music industry over the next 20 years. Right now the Boomers are still focused on their careers & kids but in another 10 years they're going to want to return to the great music they left behind. It's my hope that by then we'll have the 50's, maybe even 60's in the public domain where they can play with real transitions and mashups with all their old favorites, and new, on something handheld. At the same time, we have a generation of kids who doesn't even know what it's like to not be in charge of their own music, no one is going offline, only on, so, there's just no future in selling records.

The RECORD/DVD industry (not the entertainment business) is obsolete. Blockbuster is switching to an online, Netflix model and will soon be closing up real estate. Tower and Wherehouse are hanging on. Wal-mart still uses records as loss leader, holding the line at $10. only because they need the labels far less than labels need them, they could drop records anytime and not lose a cent. In ten years the idea of going to a store to buy entertainment will be laughable. We've subsidized enough meat and sugar to make us the fattest country in the world, are we gonna now subsidize the record industry too? Because, that's what they're going for with all this legislation.

So, the state of the law in '04. Well, there should be some focus on this issue this year. The Supreme Court granted cert. to the Grokkster case. The previous decision in this case relied on the Betamax decision, saying Grokkster is not responsible for all those people downloading copyrighted music because there are many more millions who use the sites to exchange perfectly "legal" files. Fair use doctrine allows people to share copyrighted material with friends, and this was curtailed by the labels. So, big issues. Do we as a society hold those who advance technology, sort of a big industry in this world, not to mention this area, back, so that we only invent things that cannot disseminate information?! Is that in the public interest? Do we restrict individuals rights to share info because we now have the means to both restrict and share, more easily over the web?

If these various public interest orgs. can get it together, (they email each other all the time, but it's mostly about legal issues.... we need to win in the courts AND in the court of public opinion) they should use the trial to draw attention to the various ways the labels are aggressively trying to chill the distribution of music and how much of this "property" they really own (because most people think musicians own their own music!) and how much these ownership rights are worth. It's a good opportunity to get some of these more complicated intellectual property rights issues understood, cause that's what needs to happen. This is not gonna happen cause Hillary has a little walk with Larry and sees the error of her ways. It's gonna happen cause it'll be the only way these companies have to make a buck, if they cannot sell records they will find another, more useful way to make money off music. There is plenty of opportunity to do that as there will be more and more people listening to music, following music, playing around with songs on some fun new program, making music, singing. Music makes people happy. It will be with us always. Remember Capitalists, you can still use the music to sell stuff.

But more than that, we need to claim ownership of the medium here. It's time to colonize the moon, people. And if we don't step up to the plate you're gonna be stepping up to your world-wide-Wal-mart-web, the corporate control version of the web, and our one big shot at freedom will have been lost. And I'm not just talking about music.

On a local level, the most promising thing is a rumor that the '05 VMA's will be hosted in San Francisco. After Michael Greene had his little Napster-induced nuclear breakdown at the '03 Grammy's, they took it from LA to NY after 5 yrs. The music industry may again be sending a message here. The VMA's are respected yet progressive and it's about time the music industry steps up and takes notice of an area that has taken it on the technological chin after opening up a world of opportunity to distribute music, get creative with music, make music more interesting and revolutionize their almost dead, of it's own fucking weight, industry. If it goes, it should bring $5M in tourism and... I will be there.

On the other hand, I get increasingly frustrated with the lack of live music. Draper's Music, a Palo Alto landmark and the only place left for musicians to even go, is closing. I went in yesterday and got an electric guitar (more about that to come) and will go in for another amp today, but, it's very sad. The Edge, a beautiful venue just lies there vacant. There's more and more stuff happening on a grass roots level, more bands forming, doing more of their own producing and promoting. The local community colleges are training actors, DP's & now music producers, with a new 30 station Pro-Tools training room. Those producers will hopefully stay local & perhaps they could focus more on promotion, especially web. In a few years we should hopefully see the fruits of all this.

The Liitle Fox Theatre in Redwood City is an up & coming venue. We need to turn some of these mid-peninsula wineries or parks into some venues like Mountain Winery & Montalvo which host some great old & new acts. Another idea is to extend some of these summer concert series into more stable year round (indoor) things. Once the venues are in place and people get used to the idea of going out in the evening & spending $20. to hear some live music & have a drink... a lot of bands will be there to perform.

A Home at the End of the World

Such Netflix synchronicity that I should get this DVD after We Don't Live Here Anymore. It's such a poignant counterpoint. It reminds me of my comparison of the counterpart paintings (Start:Heart and APart:Heart), one was all strucured and prim but kind of empty, the other was full and vibrant, but may be harder for folks to grasp or embrace.

The homeless group (they don't live THERE anymore, anyway) has all the structure, but it's devoid of love and affection. Even the two having the affair don't seem to have real love, they're just acting out of frustration and boredom. All the issues in that movie had to do with people loving people they weren't supposed to love, sexually enjoying people they were not supposed to enjoy, being attracted to people they weren't supposed to be attracted to, doing things they weren't supposed to be doing. And you know what? Despite the beautiful homes and children and perfectly socially acceptable lives, not one person in that whole film was really happy, really loving.

The closest was Hank, who did allow himself outside the stifling rules that made everyone miserable and tore the families apart. Hank was not selfish or a hypocrite though, he set up the affair for his wife and was happy that she was being attended to by the other guy. What is love if it isn't wanting happiness for the other person? He wasn't particularly deceptive either, he didn't seem to make much secret of his activity, as opposed to his wife, who coyly tells Terry to confront her cheating husband (the one she's fucking). Many may see him as the villian of the film because he had affairs first, but I see him as the closest to being loving, honest & happy character....the only smart one, because he understood the inablity of the marriage/rule structure to deliver on the American Dream of promised happiness. And, he didn't just sit there and wallow, he did what he could to make his life happy within the structure. His wife did not, and, in the end, he could not make the happiness for her. I wonder if she'll ever find peace and happiness... I doubt it, because she doesn't look to herself to find it. She was looking to Hank to provide it for her. She was looking to bask in his attention, his light, because nothing was really emanating from within.

The group whose home was at the end of the world, at least did have a loving harbor. The ever-chameleon-like Robin Wright Penn plays a free spirit who involves herself with two childhood friends that had played some gay as kids. When they reconnect as adults, the three of them live together and raise the kid she becomes pregnant with, by whom, I don't know. They never struggle to love each other or follow the rules. They do struggle a bit with the unconventionality & complexity of it all, but, it seems like such a better struggle. It's a them against the world kind of thing. They know they're different, they know they'll stand out in suburbia, but there's so much love shared freely between them. None of them feel compelled to love each other or be with each other but the whole movie is a giant love-fest, showing true caring and insight. When seen next to the other movie - it's such a stark contrast.

In the film Sissy Spacek plays a very loving, progressive mom of one of the guys (she's effectively a mom to both). She had a traditional marriage and she expresses regret at having lived so much of her life in a small box & she clearly admires the younger woman for the courage of her choices.

I can tell you, from my own perspective, I've found it's easier to worry about fitting into a larger society than deal with family members who expect you to fit into their box. First the marriages are about love and creating this ideal life together, then you have kids, your attention turns to them, you stop exercising your marriage muscles and coast on your previous love, secure in your marriage to act as a crutch and hold everything together. At first you think it'll all get back to "normal", that fun, free love, but it never really does. So, you fit yourself more and more into the marriage and, increasingly, community structure. The people within become more attuned to the kids, community, responsibilities & structure and less attuned to their own needs, since they're not allowed to follow them. They get cut off and sad because the structure, and now even their spouse, doesn't really support them as individuals. The structure is about structure and, like corporate America, sustains itself with rules and expectations. It's not about love anymore, it's about playing the game, by the rules.

The rules and structure are not without reason and purpose, and Ray Kroc and Walt Disney, who I discussed in the Super Size post used pervasive and rigid rules coupled with constant spying to build those businesses into what they are today... big and getting bigger and profitable. When cults use these tactics it's called brainwashing, when corporate America uses it, it's called productivity and when parents use it, it's called bedtime. But, it's all basically the same. Follow the rules and do what you're supposed to do, and you'll be watched. That's exactly what my marriage felt like for many years. How can you love in that kind of environment? If love isn't given freely, it's not love. I certainly didn't feel loved, I felt trapped.

In my Stepford Wives post I ask if this divided work model of marriage is working. The answer is no, but, now I realize it's not just that the work is divided, it's that the love gets replaced by obligation. Steven Stills tells us, "If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with". Now, I interpret that in the sense that if you love God and yourself, you're always with the one you love, even when those closest to us are not really loving us or us, them. But, we all understand what that line really means, it was a hit song for a reason, all the teens were singing it. Sometimes we can't get the person we think we want so we try to love the one we're with, the one who wants to be with us. And we all know how tough it is to do that, because love and obligation never seem to coexist well together.

We Don't Live Here Anymore

I guess the title of this movie, which was in limited release, (check out the trailer on the link above) is taken from the '70's Neil Simon play/movie Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore. The Alice that didn't live there anymore, like the Alice in Wonderland and White Rabbit song and of diary fame (talk about your trips!) and seen most recently on cute, creative Gwen Stefani is the Alice that took a little trip through the looking glass to elsewhere and when she got back, she still looked the same but she didn't really live there anymore. I can definitely relate, to Alice, and the characters in the story.

For a while, the marriages still looked good: nice houses, nice lives, nice friends, family fun, kids happily unaware of the very complicated feelings of their parents. What kinds of feelings? Boredom, jealousy, resentment, frustration, anger... none of them really getting what they need from their spouses. So, they cross pollinated. Definitley the explicit version of Wife Swap.

It had many uncomfortable similarities, to my life and to my movie. My movie (the one I'm making, not the one I'm living) also has two couples who have some (not all, thank you) cross couple attraction issues but mine has much more focus on the career aspect. Where the guys in the movie are both hot English professors, my guys are hot Silicon Valley hotshots who also have creative backgrounds/ambitions that they miss/aspire to and who got caught up in the dot.com bust in different positions. My film will aslo deal more with the housewife issue, it will go into the women's backgrounds and show their respective frustrations, one with being at home w/ young kids, the other with lack of artistic & "marital" success.

This film was similar to mine in that it does show one couple really getting into those kitchen scenes, where those frustrations over daily life and those character flaws you've dealt with too long just fly. I guess one thing you look for in films like this is that real feel. This is where you want your drama so good that it really does feel like you are a fly on the wall in someone else's home, and you have that somewhat comforting feeling of, ok, it's not just us, all couples go through this. But, not all couples do.... even in the movies, this one or mine.

Some couples just stuff it and stuff it, or think of other things besides their actual life, or manage to small talk or just somehow or other don't face it. And both my movie and this one have a couple like that. In that couple, the guy is so focused on his writing, or is just internally strong, he doesn't really look to the wife for inner satisfaction. He doesn't really NEED his wife. She's basically a weak, empty person and it's not till she gets her gumption up by steaming up her husband's best friend that she feels strong.

So, who's more sympathetic? All four of them cheat, so you can't use that for the qualifier. So, what's the qualifier? The timing? Thr reason? The one who cheats because she's can't feel loved (Edith)? The one who cheats cause he wants love (Jack)? The one who cheats because he wants excitement, and, becaused he can (Hank)? Or, the one who cheats out of revenge (Terry)? Once you're in the Devolution of Marriage Zone is it all about assigning blame and pegging relative moral positions? Well, there certainly are a lot of moral issues and there's usually a lot of blame at that point. Questions like, do I stay or do I go, how long can this go on, can it get better, how can I even imagine such a different life or so much upheaval, how can I go, how can I stay, how can I make myself love this person, how can I get what I need, what's gonna happen to the kids, can I go a lifetime without the sex or love I need???

It's interesting to watch all the marriage unwinding dramas: my two (the real and unreal) and this film and the many similarities between them. The same basic issues come up over and over, who's doing what, who's not doing what, all the annoyances and weaknesses and failings, the lack common interests, the lack of interests period... the lack of passion. In my now very jaded view, based on dozens, if not hundreds of conversations with people about this, I think most people are lucky if they get a good solid love affair once or twice in their life.

But, even if all is going well, once you have kids (the American Dream), the kids require so much energy and focus for so long, it's just really hard to maintain the closeness, trust, intimacy. If the sex goes, it's really hard to get any of that back, and if you start running into respect issues on top of that....well, let's just say that most couples run into obstacles cause, aside from the eventual boredom, the deck is essentially stacked against us just in the form of inhuman work hours in this country. In fact, a French friend of mine, without kids, ran into marriage ending problems just because of the work hour ethic around here.

I really do think that long term monogamy is not for everyone. A lot of people do crawl up in it out of fear of change, fear of the unknown, but yet bored once the sexual charge wears off and if you're not really marching to the same drum at that point, with common interests, passions and goals, then you're basically just co-existing. A good friend of mine works with her husband, they're both counselors & run the Growth and Leadership Center, go into therapy every time there's a problem and really hash it out. They are one of the few couples I know of who I really think are happy together, and even they have issues. They deal with them relatively openly and well, but it took decades of psychological training to do that. Most either fight or seethe or avoid, like the classic roles above...ending up in marriages that don't live here anymore.

Top Twenty Songs of the Year

I make a CD at the end of each year of the best songs, in my opinion. What do I look for? First of all, it's just how you feel when you hear the song. Like Carlos said of Smooth - the hairs stood up un the back of his neck. I know that feeling, it took me a long time to learn that song, but when I did...it's a rush. I know a good song the minute I hear it. I mostly listen to & look at popular culture...I like to keep my finger on the pulse & there's plenty of tasty stuff up there on Billboard's Hot 100, most of my picks are on there. To break it down, I look for good structure, composition, beat, message, relevance, vocals, originality, something that can hold up over time. Take a listen to this list and tell me it doesn't sound good, something you can dance to, listen to around the house...now, for sex, I always make special playlists.

And, I do have hundreds of playlists & CD's I burned before I got my ipod... everything from British Blues to Psychedelia (not a big step, BTW). Anyway, making playlists is a lost art, one I spent many years perfecting as my only outlet for expressing myself publicly through music. These final year end lists are in order of how good the songs are. I do play around with them: I often have a best R&B, best uptempo & down (yes, for sex), then do a final CD strictly on what's the best stuff musically. The lists below are actually redone a bit as just best song of the year down, the CD's I burn are meant to be listened to so there's more attention to transition (aah, the lost art of the transition...you can't even do real transitions these days, where you turn the volume down on one song as you turn up the volume on the other, making all these neat intervision-type songs between them...) and how the songs complement each other.

The art of the playlist has to do with making each song richer, more meaningful, by playing it next to something else. Like I would play songs next to each other that had musicians in common or a great new find (this was progressive radio - in those days I listened to everything that came out, but then music started going bad) next to a primogenitor you wouldn't have thought of, or songs in different genres that were actually pretty similar. Very often I would put things next to each other that had a similar beat and make the transition so seamless that you couldn't really tell where one song ended and the next one began, but at some point you realized that you were listening to a different great song and wondered how that happened. There were shows where each song had at least one title word in common with the song next to it. Now, with iTunes, it's easy, back then, you really had to know your music.

I had the whole thing down to some sort of zen/sufi science of the absurd as I would fly around the library (of vinyl) looking for the next song as the previous one was, literally, ending. Now, I just have to point and click, and not worry about dead air. Oh yeah, I used to plan my shows out, but then, that got too easy. Anyway, enough of my delerious DJ days, I digress.



2004

This Love - Maroon 5
Some Kind of Wonderful - Joss Stone
How Far is Heaven - Los Lonely Boys
Musicology - Prince
Take Your Mama Out - Scissor Sisters
Yeah - Usher
Take Me Out - Franz Ferdinand
The Reason - Hoobastank
American Idiot - Green Day
Float On - Modest Mouse
Super Duper Love - Joss Stone
Devils and Angels - Toby Lightman
Somewhere Only We Know - Keane
I Believe in a Thing Called Love - The Darkness
I Don't Wanna Be - Gavin DeGraw
Meant to Live - Switchfoot
Harder to Breathe - Maroon 5
If I Ain't Got You - Alicia Keys
Overdrive - Katy Rose
She Will Be Loved - Maroon 5


2003

Where Is the Love - Black Eyed Peas
Hey Ya - OutKast
Crazy in Love - Beyonce
Bring Me to Life - Evanescence
The Way You Move - OutKast
Are You Gonna Be My Girl - Jet
Seven Nation Army - White Stripes
Special - Wilshire
Heaven - Live
I Fought the Law - Green Day
Here Without You - Three Doors Down
Bright Lights - Matchbox 20
Someday - Nickelback
Calling All Angels - Train
Perfect Time of Day - Howie Day
Clocks - Coldplay
100 Years - Five for Fighting
The Remedy - Jason Mraz
Intuition - Jewel
Trouble - Pink


2002

Come Away With Me - Norah Jones
Beautiful - Christina Aguilera
No Such Thing - John Mayer
Complicated - Avril Lavigne
Hero - Enrique Eglesias
Foolish - Ashanti
Lovers Rock - Sade
Lose Yourself - Eminem
Disease - Matchbox 20
Rock Your Body - Justin Timberlake
Whenever Wherever - Shakira
Days Go By - Dirty Vegas
Wherever You Will Go - The Calling
Dilemma - KellyRowland/Nelly
Middle - Jimmy Eat World
A Thousand Miles - Vanessa Carlton
Blurry - Puddle of Mudd
Soak Up the Sun - Sheryl Crow
Underneath it All - No Doubt
Don't Know Why - Norah Jones
I'm Gonna Getcha - Shania Twain


2001

Family Affairs - Mary J. Blige
Get This Pary Started - Pink
Fallin - Alicia Keys
Drops of Jupiter - Train
If You're Gone - Matchbox 20
Southside - Moby/Gewn Stefani
Turn Off the Light - Nelly Furtado
Kryptonite - Three Doors Down
Trouble - Coldplay
The Space Between - Dave Matthews Band
Superman - Five for Fighting
This is How You Remind Me - Nickelback
Dig In - Lenny Kravitz
My Sacrifice - Creed
Peaceful World - John Mellencamp
It's Been a While - Staind
God Gave Me Everything - Mick Jagger/Lenny Kravitz
New York New York - Ryan Adams
Stuck in a Moment - U2
I Want Love - Elton John

George Carlin

Update on George, as of today, Dec. 28, he's entering rehab for the first time. I replaced his site link above with a story on it. It's interesting because on the interview I wrote of below, he did talk about his drug use. He said pot, and drugs in his life in general, were sort of self-extincting. As time went on he got less high fun and more hassle around the drug, and he naturally slowed down as result. Well, I guess he felt he needed some help doing that, and I respect him for doing that rather than promoting his book.... unless he IS promoting his book. I hate to be a cynic, but so many celebrities seem to find themselves in high visibility legal or drug problems when they've got something to promote. It's the Jackson MO, that's for sure, it's an MJ staple and now lil' sis Janet learns at his knee, or boob, her little flash turned that crappy Damitra Jo into a big seller.
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Saw George on Actors Studio yesterday. His was probably one of least impressive resumes I've seen on that show, but comedians usually have such perceptive comments to make about society (that is, after all, their job) & Carlin is one of the best. He was a very successful mainstream comedian in the 60's, entertaining corporate wonks, and finding that less and less appealing as the 60's went on. Once he got cool, the establishment abandoned him, saying he "freaked out", until he started selling millions of comedy albums, then they wanted their crazy cash cow back.

It's an interesting illustration of the two routes to external power. One, I've discussed ad nauseam in the Reality Show and other posts; ingratiating, play to the powerful audience. The other, familiar to successful artists, and one I strongly advocate, is to build a following of people who appreciate and enjoy what you do.

Anyway, to quote Carlin:
If you're born in this world, you've got a ticket to the freak show. If you're born in the US, you've got a front row seat. So, most people watch the freak show, some are in it... and some comment on it, and that's what I do.

Well, I guess that's what I do too (though not as well). And, I love it. I love watching the freak show, l love being in it and I sure as hell love commenting on it. Contrary to Dr. Pangloss (Candide), this is definitely not the best of all possible worlds, but it's one hell of an interesting ride, with all the opportunities you need to learn your lessons and still have a great experience.