Sex Sells
OK, I better post this. I've been so busy filming Valley Fog, which actually touches on these issues, as well as many others, that I just haven't had time to write for the blogs. Every time my attention turns, my readership goes down. Sooo, I wrote this up a few weeks back, and shelved it, as I have done before on more personal, sexual type articles. One reason I did so in this case was because when I tried to verify some of the numbers, they didn't really hold up.
I'm not a statistician and I can certainly believe someone in the adult industry would exaggerate numbers, but, common sense and my personal experiences talking to men and having a blog leads me to believe the number of men getting "sex" via their computer is huge and it is, in general, a monumentally ignored aspect of our culture that does indeed affect us every day and in every way.
I had an interesting date yesterday with a guy who publishes adult magazines with a European style of artistic, open type stuff. He brought up interesting facts, all of which I basically believe because they make sense. He said sex spawned and spurred the video industry and the internet. These mediums both spread sex like crazy and made tons of money doing so.
Men want sex. They don't get it at home. Most of them don't want to go into theaters in trench-coats and when the concept of watching it on your own TV became a possibility, the huge demand, both on the part of the geeks who develop all this stuff and the public, in general fed the technology and laws to support it.
Being a staunch defender of music, I pointed to the demand for that as a major fire that heated up the broadband that now covers every populated area in this country. But, again, sex was first on the scene. Music was 1999, but porn, in the mid-nineties was bringing every geek in the world onto the network.
He also pointed to the fact that the US has the highest rate of teenage pregnancy in the civilized world and the lowest average age for losing one's virginity. Compare this to Holland which is at the opposite end of the spectrum. In Holland, sex is addressed very openly and naturally, in the schools, starting in third grade. Anyone who's been there knows how open sexuality is in Holland and throughout Europe generally. You don't see quite the same sad and twisted victims of keeping sex secret, the schizophrenia, the clashes of the religious right and the sad statistics we have here.
Porn is a $60B/year industry. That's the legal money, not even counting prostitution and unaccounted for cash. It's bigger than all entertainment combined. Bigger than all sports combined. Did you know that? It's not a well-publicized fact. We don't want to talk about how much money is spent on illegal drugs, or even legal drugs. We don't talk about the $200B we're spending on war. And we sure as hell don't talk about sex in any real way in this country, except to say it's bad, unless it's in a marriage.
I look around my communities, no one talks about sex. Yet, under our noses, it has to be going on all around us. $60B is not a few back-alley perverts. This is us. So, what's going on? These same people I see, not talking, except in giggles and whispers, still are sexual beings in some way and need to have that addressed, if only in some small way. It breaks my heart to see this country as it really is, a society of disconnected, materialistic people so lacking in the fulfillment of their basic human needs that the most intimate relationship most men have these days is with their computers.
And the most intimate relationships most women have is with other women, and food. You know what the other big industry is don't you? Diet. That's also in the $60B area. Why do you think Dr. Phil, and everyone else, goes there? Ever turn on a TV? How much diet advertising do you see on there?
We've lost all touch with reality here and what god meant for us. Why do you think we're all stuffing our faces and glued to our computers? Does anyone else but me ever ask themselves these simple basic questions about the society all around us? Well, let me fill you in. People who are healthily connected to their own bodies and spirits and happiness have good connections with other people.
They're not yelling at everyone, like the guy who wrote Wedding Crashers and had a melt-down over my review. They're not hiding. They're not making excuses. They're not having secret affairs. They are stepping up to the plate, being themselves, being open and available and loving and sexual. They don't segregate themselves into little populations and cliques and judge people by how much money they have.
I meet men all the time who are trapped in dead marriages or workaholic schedules, or both. They join the ranks of zombies till they find a few porn sites that start to remind them that they have bodies. But, this only alerts them to their trap. Now they see how unfree and timid they really are. I see their frustration and fear and try to help. but, it's usually pretty fruitless. Most people, even when you hold a mirror up to their fucking face won't see the real person staring back. So, they slink back, still thinking some sex on the side will be the magic bullet.
The internet has made it easier for us to connect with each other and find sex, hopefully with other actual people, instead of fantasies. At the same time it has turned us from each other. The vast majority of married people who live in dead, sexless marriages have less and less reason to really work on their relationships because now they have their computer to turn to for stimulation and companionship.
So, if I were to end with on open letter to the men of America, here it is:
Men;
Wake up!!! Whatever excuse you have for sticking with your fat, boring wife, who you don't love and who doesn't love you... it's lame. Oh, and if you think she does love you because she's not cheating on you, or cooks your meals.... that's not love. If you think it's love, you need to find out what love really is, because it's fabulous. It's worth striving for. Whatever the reason is that you accept the roommate deal, it's a weak cop-out. There is no good reason to live a lie. You may think you're fooling your kids, but, ultimately, unless they're really stupid, you can't. They'll grow up and tell their partners they don't want to end up in a dead marriage like their parent's, and then they'll do it, just like you did, and your parents did.
There is no good reason to waste your time or your partner's. Your nice and moral sounding reasons about commitment and the kids don't hold up unless you are actively working to improve your marriage, or unless you are genuinely fulfilled. Fulfilled means sharing your feelings, it means having great sex, it means having passion and intimacy.
You're on your computer for sex because it's cheap and easy and you've convinced yourself it's as good as you'll get. You are selling yourselves short. Love, sex, passion, the things that make life vibrant and worthwhile, are available to you. But, you have to conquer your fear and get up off your ass and look for a real woman and then be honest with her and give of yourself. It's only then you'll have what you truly seek, that which can bring true happiness. Until then, you're just a drone.
You go out, you earn, you do your duty, and, if you're lucky, you get some positive attention for doing so. But, compared to a real relationship with a real woman, it's a pale imitation of a genuine life, the type you'll look back on with real peace of mind and satisfaction. Make your choices thoughtfully and wisely in life, it's worth it to take the time to look at your life and your choices and your happiness, it's what you were put here to do. Don't die with your life unlived. Use your life. God gave you life, and a mind to make choices. Don't dishonor God, and yourself, and the parents who brought you forth in the world, by going through your life mindlessly. Connect yourself to your real feelings and reactions and honor those things.
I'm not a statistician and I can certainly believe someone in the adult industry would exaggerate numbers, but, common sense and my personal experiences talking to men and having a blog leads me to believe the number of men getting "sex" via their computer is huge and it is, in general, a monumentally ignored aspect of our culture that does indeed affect us every day and in every way.
I had an interesting date yesterday with a guy who publishes adult magazines with a European style of artistic, open type stuff. He brought up interesting facts, all of which I basically believe because they make sense. He said sex spawned and spurred the video industry and the internet. These mediums both spread sex like crazy and made tons of money doing so.
Men want sex. They don't get it at home. Most of them don't want to go into theaters in trench-coats and when the concept of watching it on your own TV became a possibility, the huge demand, both on the part of the geeks who develop all this stuff and the public, in general fed the technology and laws to support it.
Being a staunch defender of music, I pointed to the demand for that as a major fire that heated up the broadband that now covers every populated area in this country. But, again, sex was first on the scene. Music was 1999, but porn, in the mid-nineties was bringing every geek in the world onto the network.
He also pointed to the fact that the US has the highest rate of teenage pregnancy in the civilized world and the lowest average age for losing one's virginity. Compare this to Holland which is at the opposite end of the spectrum. In Holland, sex is addressed very openly and naturally, in the schools, starting in third grade. Anyone who's been there knows how open sexuality is in Holland and throughout Europe generally. You don't see quite the same sad and twisted victims of keeping sex secret, the schizophrenia, the clashes of the religious right and the sad statistics we have here.
Porn is a $60B/year industry. That's the legal money, not even counting prostitution and unaccounted for cash. It's bigger than all entertainment combined. Bigger than all sports combined. Did you know that? It's not a well-publicized fact. We don't want to talk about how much money is spent on illegal drugs, or even legal drugs. We don't talk about the $200B we're spending on war. And we sure as hell don't talk about sex in any real way in this country, except to say it's bad, unless it's in a marriage.
I look around my communities, no one talks about sex. Yet, under our noses, it has to be going on all around us. $60B is not a few back-alley perverts. This is us. So, what's going on? These same people I see, not talking, except in giggles and whispers, still are sexual beings in some way and need to have that addressed, if only in some small way. It breaks my heart to see this country as it really is, a society of disconnected, materialistic people so lacking in the fulfillment of their basic human needs that the most intimate relationship most men have these days is with their computers.
And the most intimate relationships most women have is with other women, and food. You know what the other big industry is don't you? Diet. That's also in the $60B area. Why do you think Dr. Phil, and everyone else, goes there? Ever turn on a TV? How much diet advertising do you see on there?
We've lost all touch with reality here and what god meant for us. Why do you think we're all stuffing our faces and glued to our computers? Does anyone else but me ever ask themselves these simple basic questions about the society all around us? Well, let me fill you in. People who are healthily connected to their own bodies and spirits and happiness have good connections with other people.
They're not yelling at everyone, like the guy who wrote Wedding Crashers and had a melt-down over my review. They're not hiding. They're not making excuses. They're not having secret affairs. They are stepping up to the plate, being themselves, being open and available and loving and sexual. They don't segregate themselves into little populations and cliques and judge people by how much money they have.
I meet men all the time who are trapped in dead marriages or workaholic schedules, or both. They join the ranks of zombies till they find a few porn sites that start to remind them that they have bodies. But, this only alerts them to their trap. Now they see how unfree and timid they really are. I see their frustration and fear and try to help. but, it's usually pretty fruitless. Most people, even when you hold a mirror up to their fucking face won't see the real person staring back. So, they slink back, still thinking some sex on the side will be the magic bullet.
The internet has made it easier for us to connect with each other and find sex, hopefully with other actual people, instead of fantasies. At the same time it has turned us from each other. The vast majority of married people who live in dead, sexless marriages have less and less reason to really work on their relationships because now they have their computer to turn to for stimulation and companionship.
So, if I were to end with on open letter to the men of America, here it is:
Men;
Wake up!!! Whatever excuse you have for sticking with your fat, boring wife, who you don't love and who doesn't love you... it's lame. Oh, and if you think she does love you because she's not cheating on you, or cooks your meals.... that's not love. If you think it's love, you need to find out what love really is, because it's fabulous. It's worth striving for. Whatever the reason is that you accept the roommate deal, it's a weak cop-out. There is no good reason to live a lie. You may think you're fooling your kids, but, ultimately, unless they're really stupid, you can't. They'll grow up and tell their partners they don't want to end up in a dead marriage like their parent's, and then they'll do it, just like you did, and your parents did.
There is no good reason to waste your time or your partner's. Your nice and moral sounding reasons about commitment and the kids don't hold up unless you are actively working to improve your marriage, or unless you are genuinely fulfilled. Fulfilled means sharing your feelings, it means having great sex, it means having passion and intimacy.
You're on your computer for sex because it's cheap and easy and you've convinced yourself it's as good as you'll get. You are selling yourselves short. Love, sex, passion, the things that make life vibrant and worthwhile, are available to you. But, you have to conquer your fear and get up off your ass and look for a real woman and then be honest with her and give of yourself. It's only then you'll have what you truly seek, that which can bring true happiness. Until then, you're just a drone.
You go out, you earn, you do your duty, and, if you're lucky, you get some positive attention for doing so. But, compared to a real relationship with a real woman, it's a pale imitation of a genuine life, the type you'll look back on with real peace of mind and satisfaction. Make your choices thoughtfully and wisely in life, it's worth it to take the time to look at your life and your choices and your happiness, it's what you were put here to do. Don't die with your life unlived. Use your life. God gave you life, and a mind to make choices. Don't dishonor God, and yourself, and the parents who brought you forth in the world, by going through your life mindlessly. Connect yourself to your real feelings and reactions and honor those things.
posted by Intervision at 6:40 AM
0 comments
