Freedom & Possession
Freedom’s just another word for nothin’ left to lose,
And nothin’ ain’t worth nothin’ but it’s free,
Feelin’ good was easy, lord, when Bobby sang the blues,
And baby, that was good enough for me,
Good enough for me and my Bobby McGee.
Bobby had the right idea. There's a reason this hit has resonated so strongly. Americans are all about personal freedom. That's why we killed all those Iraqis, Vietnamese etc., right? In order to free them. Nothin ain't worth nothin, but it's free. Pretty deep for a pop song. It's all about fate and free will and God.
Why does God allow the horrors visited on so many humans through time? God has a great track record creating perfect beings, most of what goes wrong comes from our free will. What God is telling us by giving us free will is exactly what Bobby says to her friend. If you don't come to me on your own, forget it. It's only worth anything to me if it comes freely from you. That is the only value, the only purpose.
God could make a perfect world, just like we create a piece of art or any item. We create it, it exists to entertain us or perform some function. When we are more advanced we may be able to create things that do more than follow rules. As in 2001, with HAL, or iRobot (1/17/05 post), we aspire to create things who will think independently, who may fight back, but, who won't, because they love us. Like our kids... some people, stupid people, try to beat or scare their kids into obeying or loving them. Any good parent knows that it's most satisfying to just show the kids love and honesty and trust that they will grow up to give their love and contribution freely into the world.
God could maybe control us. We would be automatons. It would be destiny. Your life would be preordained. You know, this is why I hate the Catholic church so much. At almost every turn, it seeks to interfere with personal choice and freedom. In decisions as personal as contraception, sex, donating organs, suicide, euthanasia, abortion, marriage, divorce, medical care, childbirth & more, archaic institutions seek to undermine the individual's personal freedom and make choices for them.
This is not what God intended. That's why he gave us free will. The things we do out of obligation may be socially valuable or appreciated by others, but, they are worthless to God and Bobby McGee. What they want is free love, real learning... that which comes freely from the heart.
So, in keeping with my new theme of not just being philosophical but tying this all into my recent journey... the process of separation and divorce has a lot to do with possession and freedom. Almost any relationship involves giving up some personal freedom, I guess. But, it seems like long term marriages with kids really take this to the max. Especially in that perpetual caregiver role, it can start to be all about obligation and loss of control. After awhile, you do feel like a fuckin automaton and start to wonder if you even have a free will any more.
So, now I try to give only what I really want to and take only what is freely given. It feels much better. It takes a certain amount of strength and awareness. I hope I won't ever get into a relationship that is about control again. I was talking to a recently divorced friend lately and he goes, "next time it's only gonna be about love and being right". I agree. Next time it's not gonna be about kids or money or obligations. It's either gonna be driven by mutual passion or not at all.
My feelings of obligation were well-intentioned. I had kids. That is a responsibility. But, kids grow up, from helpless little beings to just regular people. They need our focus and our love, but they don't own us any more than anyone else should. Sacrificing your happiness "for your kids" is no favor to them or you. Ultimately, they learn by your example.
I want my kids to feel free, for their love for me to come freely. And making my life all about serving isn't me. It's hard for me to imagine anyone making a life out of that, though I guess people do it. I don't mean to dismiss the value of service to others, it's a big aim and worthy goal. As Dylan pointed out, we all gotta serve somebody. That doesn't mean we have to be servants, though.
This isn't about being irresponsible toward one's kids, or failing to teach them responsibility or cause and effect. Kids need to learn responsibility and I feel we teach them that skill by letting them take responsibility for things they can do, not by taking responsibility for providing them a luxury life at the expense of our happiness and identity.
In the end, each of us has to find what lights us up in life and to follow that. Find your passions and let your kids find theirs. As to possession... posses your own life fully, take full responsibility for it. Then, you can give freely. Trying to posses your kids or spouse by doing everything for them may look good to some but ultimately falls short. You give more by living an authentic life than mindless service.
And nothin’ ain’t worth nothin’ but it’s free,
Feelin’ good was easy, lord, when Bobby sang the blues,
And baby, that was good enough for me,
Good enough for me and my Bobby McGee.
Bobby had the right idea. There's a reason this hit has resonated so strongly. Americans are all about personal freedom. That's why we killed all those Iraqis, Vietnamese etc., right? In order to free them. Nothin ain't worth nothin, but it's free. Pretty deep for a pop song. It's all about fate and free will and God.
Why does God allow the horrors visited on so many humans through time? God has a great track record creating perfect beings, most of what goes wrong comes from our free will. What God is telling us by giving us free will is exactly what Bobby says to her friend. If you don't come to me on your own, forget it. It's only worth anything to me if it comes freely from you. That is the only value, the only purpose.
God could make a perfect world, just like we create a piece of art or any item. We create it, it exists to entertain us or perform some function. When we are more advanced we may be able to create things that do more than follow rules. As in 2001, with HAL, or iRobot (1/17/05 post), we aspire to create things who will think independently, who may fight back, but, who won't, because they love us. Like our kids... some people, stupid people, try to beat or scare their kids into obeying or loving them. Any good parent knows that it's most satisfying to just show the kids love and honesty and trust that they will grow up to give their love and contribution freely into the world.
God could maybe control us. We would be automatons. It would be destiny. Your life would be preordained. You know, this is why I hate the Catholic church so much. At almost every turn, it seeks to interfere with personal choice and freedom. In decisions as personal as contraception, sex, donating organs, suicide, euthanasia, abortion, marriage, divorce, medical care, childbirth & more, archaic institutions seek to undermine the individual's personal freedom and make choices for them.
This is not what God intended. That's why he gave us free will. The things we do out of obligation may be socially valuable or appreciated by others, but, they are worthless to God and Bobby McGee. What they want is free love, real learning... that which comes freely from the heart.
So, in keeping with my new theme of not just being philosophical but tying this all into my recent journey... the process of separation and divorce has a lot to do with possession and freedom. Almost any relationship involves giving up some personal freedom, I guess. But, it seems like long term marriages with kids really take this to the max. Especially in that perpetual caregiver role, it can start to be all about obligation and loss of control. After awhile, you do feel like a fuckin automaton and start to wonder if you even have a free will any more.
So, now I try to give only what I really want to and take only what is freely given. It feels much better. It takes a certain amount of strength and awareness. I hope I won't ever get into a relationship that is about control again. I was talking to a recently divorced friend lately and he goes, "next time it's only gonna be about love and being right". I agree. Next time it's not gonna be about kids or money or obligations. It's either gonna be driven by mutual passion or not at all.
My feelings of obligation were well-intentioned. I had kids. That is a responsibility. But, kids grow up, from helpless little beings to just regular people. They need our focus and our love, but they don't own us any more than anyone else should. Sacrificing your happiness "for your kids" is no favor to them or you. Ultimately, they learn by your example.
I want my kids to feel free, for their love for me to come freely. And making my life all about serving isn't me. It's hard for me to imagine anyone making a life out of that, though I guess people do it. I don't mean to dismiss the value of service to others, it's a big aim and worthy goal. As Dylan pointed out, we all gotta serve somebody. That doesn't mean we have to be servants, though.
This isn't about being irresponsible toward one's kids, or failing to teach them responsibility or cause and effect. Kids need to learn responsibility and I feel we teach them that skill by letting them take responsibility for things they can do, not by taking responsibility for providing them a luxury life at the expense of our happiness and identity.
In the end, each of us has to find what lights us up in life and to follow that. Find your passions and let your kids find theirs. As to possession... posses your own life fully, take full responsibility for it. Then, you can give freely. Trying to posses your kids or spouse by doing everything for them may look good to some but ultimately falls short. You give more by living an authentic life than mindless service.
posted by Intervision at 3:07 AM
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