Wedding Crashers

The opening scene finds our amazingly romantic protagonists, Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn, haplessly watching a venomous couple and their noxious lawyers trade barbs. Turns out they crash Washington weddings on the side. Not, as director David Dobkin explains, in an exploitive way, but in an innocent, idealistic way. It's a 35-year-old man coming-of-age story. Well, it does point to some of the hypocrisies of our times, but, I wouldn't draw too much social commentary from this rather predictable Hollywood big-name film.

We all know that, in the end, despite the odds of ever finding true and lasting love in this use it before you lose it world, they'll find their (filthy rich) dreamgirls and happiness ever after. It's lighthearted and mildly entertaining. The commentary track with Vince and Owen is typically lame, the actors never have anything to say except stuff like, "Well, I did feel a bit awkward touching Jane Seymour's tits because, well, she's Jane Seymour." Directors are much better, and Dobkin's track does add a bit to a pretty lame film.

We do see the insides of the Kennedy-like family our crashers end up marrying into. Behind the touch football is real anger and aggression and sadness and pain and darkness. All the stereotypes, from the batty, bigoted granny to the boozing, trampy wife (yes, Jane Seymour), are represented. The men in this film come off pretty golden. Oh well, made by guys, with very high paid guys, for high paid guys to take their dates too. I'd say dream on, except these guys are laughing all the way to the bank.

The Chumscrubber

Think of Desperate Housewives meets South Park. Marc Cherry's take on the suburbs was supposed to be a morphing of Sex In The City to, basically, sex in the suburbs. Less Cul-de-Sac and more Cult and Sack, this film has an even darker tone and covers not just the secret lives of housewives but goes into the lives of the kids they and their self-absorbed husbands bring up. If you're expecting a chick flick because it features some staples of the genre, Glenn Close and Rita Wilson, think again. The violence is stark and seems to come out of nowhere.

If you really want to see the stark reality of disconnected people living in Utopias of manicured lawns and Ionic columns, check out The Ice Storm or American Beauty. This film has none of the whimsy, the characters are all a bit too weird. It's not enough to make the lawns recognizable, the people have to be genuine. I couldn't find one character in this film that felt real to me. The extremities were believable in The Graduate but, Jamie Bell (from Billy Elliot) is no Dustin Hoffman and doesn't portray the irony as well.

Director Arie Posin, a first-time director, helps us understand some of the pointless nuances, making the DVD at least less of a waste of time than a trip to the theater would have been. I did like the fact that the film covers a wide range of characters and perspectives and weaves them together well. I happen to like watching the suburbs held up to ridicule so for me, I'm not sorry I ordered it on Netflix. But, unless you're a disaffected youth, I wouldn't buy this one.

Flight Plan

Isn't Jodie Foster worried about being typecast? I just saw her in this movie, except it was called Panic Room. She played the same frenzied, devoted yet somehow brilliantly protective mother. I realize we need heroines and maybe Jodie feels the need to play them since her career was earned by playing a child prostitute in Taxi Driver and that role led John Hinckley to shoot Reagan.

She's always felt the weight of that and roles like the strong yet sleazy bar hopper led to her first Oscar in The Accused. Once she managed the strong, professional, sleaze-free Oscar winning role, Clarice, she pretty much made a career out of it. This very standard, predictable thriller was literally made for her and gosh, it's hard to refuse Brian Grazier, who has so beautifully resurrected the Sid Vicious look, but, really, I'd like to see her choose more meaningful projects.

Into The Blue

In Nassau, there is a land of enchantment and underwater amazement that, for only a few hundred bucks a night can be yours. It's called Atlantis, where the equally amazing Jessica Alba is stationed in this scenic aquatic thriller. According to director John Stockwell, on this just released DVD, it was quite the international big budget film, including special effects from India and actors and lots of real sharks from the Bahamas. It's an interesting look into the world of modern treasure hunters in the Caribbean, searching for the $6B worth of real life treasure that actually resides there.

So, Jessica Alba, who was even better hip hopping her way through Honey, is the sweet, principled Shark trainer who finds a boatload of treasure and a planeload of coke right next to each other. A lot of shark-chomping and action all over treasure hunting equipment ensues but, it's hard to do more than just enjoy the great bodies and beautiful fish.

Pix/Dis Done Deal

Anyone got a crown for Jobs? Who's gonna play him in Shrek 3? Will he unite his kingdom? Will he inspire us toward greed or creativity? Hopefully the latter. While still being the driven, anal control freak he always has been, he has developed, over the years bigger vision and lately has shown a far simpler, gentler side. He's about all we have right now to lead us out of the mire so, do it right Steve. Just like you've been doing, holding firm on price, going for innovative, original style, function and value. Good luck! You want to be the next Walt Disney? Go for it. Stick to what you love and believe in and leave a great legacy. Just don't focus so much on the technology that you forget what Walt was all about. He was about happiness and dreams and fun. Your kids are still young, let them guide you.

RIAA's Last Gasp

As we await the Pixar/Disney decision.... take a look at this story about how desperate the labels are getting. It is inevitable they will go after the ISPs... but that's a much different fight than the one they're waging against Patti Santangelo.

If they try that, I hope they have something better than contributory copyright infringement because the courts made it pretty clear in Grokster that you have to show intent and that intent based on the technology itself is not enough. They'll need to show the kind of stuff they had in Napster, internal memos showing intent to facilitate infringement of copyright. They'll never, ever win against the ISPs, and it will be so fun to watch them fry on the other side, as they see what it's like to be dwarfed.

If they think Congress will come to their aid, they're delusional. They can't even get Induce passed and there's a bill in committee right now that, if passed, will take it out of the courts, severely limiting the ability to prevail on contributory infringement. If anything, Congress is about to sway against them, even viv a vis the helpless American public.. God help them if they go up against the ISPs.

They'll end up, finally and mercifully, made into a utility, like water or cable TV, like we've been wanting for years now. Their commodity will ultimately be just so much bandwidth that they will provide under compulsory license, they'll probably have to track the the whole thing themselves. And then it will happen to the film industry.

And then they'll realize it really isn't worth it to make these big budget films, and then they'll start nominating all these story-driven dramas for Oscars and have people lined up around the block looking for small indies at Sundance and dozens of web-sites looking for content and filmmakers having lots of ways to make money off their films, with relatively low budgets and people will have lots more interesting films to watch and it will be easier to find them and... oh, that's now.

When you look at the choices and behavior of those in the know, you can see that they know exactly where the industry is headed.