Saturday, April 09, 2005

APart:Heart Part Deux


APart:Heart Part Deux
Originally uploaded by Intervisions.
Look familiar? The hearts are no longer so apart.
They're joined by ripples and connectors at every turn. That once sterile field of little pendant hearts on strings is now internetted out... hooked up. Think of it as the female blogosphere... to be.

The Dickless Blues

Pulled in by a fake
I now see my mistake
I thought I saw fire
But it had expired
With all of the gloss
Obscuring the loss
I refused to see
The lack of desire

I couldn't believe
A man wouldn't need
Passion or sex
To have nothing left
So needing of scraps
Giving nothing but crap
I thought you were fine
I was out of my mind

I put you so high
I just couldn't see
What was so clearly
In front of me
A sad, empty man
Only needing a fan
Unable to give
Unable to live

So stay in your box
Without your cock
Eating your food
Staying stupid and rude
You'll stay where you are
Never go far

It took some time
I had some pain
But I learned a lot
So, for me, there was gain
For you, real loss
But, you don't see the cost
In your mind there's no link
Between your sad state
And the way you think

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Blogging Boys Club

So, word's out all over the Internet that you guys are colonizing the place worse than RIAA & MPAA combined. Just like on the playground and the Roman Empire and space. You boys are always out there, on the run, making things happen, exploring, conquering, taking credit. Why should the Internet be any different from anything else? Doesn't anyone study anthropology any more?

Anyway, I do get tired of these gender oppression themes, mostly because I think for all you guys gain in boys club, it's a pretty thin place compared to the richness of my life. And, frankly, there are a lot of advantages to being one of the only girls in the world who gets the Internet. And I don't mean get it on my cable, I get it that it's the big hook up nook in the sky. It's the new meta-reality, the interactive medium all us Communications majors have been waiting for.

So, check out the link above to the Newsweek story that got the noise level up about Keith Jenkins' and Rebecca MacKinnon's comments. And don't miss Chris Nolan's comments on the matter. And, for those of you who don't think I'm fair and balanced, here's Larry Summer's (or similar asshole's) article in the National Review who seems to think women don't have any opinions. He obviously hasn't read mine, or probably any other woman's. Unlike the tech editors, he doesn't quite get it that just because there's no gate closing off the field doesn't mean that it's level. See, with all the work I do for you, you don't even need all those boy blogs... stick with me... who loves ya baby?

Feel free to share your feelings about all this... you don't even need a blog to comment anymore. These things are interactive you know, and I know you're out there because I check my Adsense every day. I also get a friggin ton of email comments, (particularly about the last post, for some reason) some of which are hysterical, most are quite perceptive.

Since I guess I am in the rather unusual position of being a woman with a significant underground following of progressive male readers, I may as well use this opportunity to lay a bit of my take on the ways of the world on you. When we talk about things men and women, we all tend to forget one central and overriding factor. While we've undergone incredible tech changes over the past few hundred years, we are, all of us inhabiting bodies that have evolved over hundreds of thousands of years.

Chris Rock once said, women would rule the world if we didn't hate each other. It's not that we hate each other, it's just we never had to learn to operate in groups the way the guys did. While the women focused on their kids first and the girl's club second, guys had to go out and score that bison... boys club goes way way back. We can't compete in group loyalty and functioning on any major level, not the same way. For eons, women did focus on a smaller world of kids and home and nesting while the guys went out for the big kills, and had to organize to do it. Evolution favored those of each sex that conformed the best. Check out Ashley Montagu, or Desmond Morris, a zoologist, both of whom have written extensively about this.

Plus, guys have testosterone. Hundreds of studies have shown the effectiveness of it when it comes to aggression and the sheer doing of stuff. I must admit, compared to me, Jon Newton, over at P2Pnet, is like a whirling dervish. The guy spends all day long accumulating info, writing, hooking up with larger entities. I think his wife does most of the childcare, and, god bless him, he deserves all the success in the world for all the RIAA bashing alone. But, there is a deep analytical quality to my work that exists almost nowhere on the web. I read it all, but I don't write it all. I take topics that I think are important and develop them in a way the guys don't. It's like, the guys love to go out and get those puzzle pieces, but it's often women who'll take the time to put the pieces together (bigger corpus callosum... remember?)

I bring in spiritual and global themes (and BTW, I did check out that supposedly pro-woman blog referred to by MacKinnon, Global Voices, and it's not even tech oriented). I hook up the tech issues with larger ones, so it makes sense. Show me another blog that does that. Now, one of the observations about the girls is that they don't promote themselves, and, it's true, certainly of me. But then, my biology isn't set up for it.

We think we're so modern and beyond our bodies but, it's all about biology... just ask Jack Welch. Anyway, my sistas out there are coming up with all sorts of theories about why only the male bloggers get the press. I refer you to my 1/20/05 post for the professional women's take on the boy's club bit. But, I also got an earful from the housewife set, at least in those early days when the work seemed bigger. It was like, those poor guys have to go out there to prove their validity. If they were naturally valuable and productive like us, they wouldn't have to justify their existence and laud it over us. Now, I think the smarter ones are realizing who has the last laugh, but, a lot of them may also be content in their little nests.

So, there's the inside dirt boys. While you're looking down at us for doing so little, we're laughing at you for having to go through so much to get happy. Just remember... the fence swings both ways and either way it goes, I'm gonna enjoy the ride. I got sucked into that team stuff before but, what can I tell you, there are just too many hot men out there to hang it up. So, I don't root for a side, I root for y'all to get it together and join the fun cause these segregated groups can never offer the interest and learning that comes with exposing yourself to that which is different and challenging... on the Internet or "real world". Mixed race children tend to be biologically stronger than those of parents who are genetically similar, and it works the same way in the mental realm. Putting disparate things together almost always produces a stronger result.

Sunday, April 03, 2005

Drop the Dreamkillers

I heard this great quote from Venus and Serena Williams the other day. So short and sweet and to the point, a great way of summing up a life philosophy I believe in and have heard in some shape from many successful people, particularly those who have risen to high levels in competitive areas.

Engagement in sports and the arts is a typical area of focus for kids. Almost all of the "enrichment" activities for kids, especially the popular ones, are in these two areas. Sports is a huge area of focus because there are so many scholarships for athletes. Another reason these two are popular is because they are FUN. People naturally like to participate, at all ages.

This is why these activities are so competitive, at every level. So many people would love to rise to the top and be able to make a living at these things. Take tennis, how many good players do you know, probably many. I'm sure the tenth seeded player in the world is pretty fucking good at playing tennis... can you name him/her? No, we're only interested in the five best, if that.

Let's take a look at some of the names that have risen to the top in these highly competitive areas. The Williams sisters, Tiger Woods, Michelle Kwan, Sarah Hughes, Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, Alicia Keys, Beyonce. All of these people not only have the fame but demonstrable skills. People who rise in management or acting can also make lots of money, but their skill set is far more subjective. The people I mentioned have clearly performed at the top of the endeavor. What do they all have in common?

They all distinguished themselves at young ages and they all had parents who completely supported them and believed in them. They also have natural talent. So did Tanya Harding, and look what happened to her. It's the parents that make all the difference, and you don't get to the top in certain areas, particularly youth oriented sports, without that. No matter how much natural talent you have, without support, without people who truly believe in you, you won't make it in an area that favors youth.

But, other areas favor more maturity. Many people from disadvantaged backgrounds do succeed in business, science the arts etc. How? They drop the dreamkillers. At some point they learn, somehow, to believe in themselves. Or, they find a mentor who believes in them and gives them opportunities. Sometimes the mentor appears because they've believed in themselves. In any case, they are willing to let those with the jealous, negative, sometimes subtly so, voices... go.

At the same time, as I think about the comments made by the Williams sisters, they seem somewhat flip. After all, these girls have always had each other, and supportive parents. What about people who have to drop parents or sisters or husbands or wives or best friends. It's often those closest to us that are the biggest dreamkillers, and sometimes they kill more than dreams. They kill your spirit, your confidence, your belief in yourself. Sometimes we are dependent on these people.

Theoretically, when we become adults, we go out there and make our American dream come true. In reality, the process of becoming an independent adult is far more complex and prolonged. For many, maybe most, it never really happens. They spend their whole lives just doing what they think others around them want them to do. Even when we do have economic independence there is often not true independence. But, part of that independence involves a willingness to sacrifice relationships with people when they do not support what we want for ourselves or when they refuse to see us the way we want to be seen.

The happiest, healthiest people I know are people who, throughout their lives, take a good hard look at those who surround them. Some of us are in dreamkiller jobs, or dreamkiller religions that expect them barefoot and pregnant (bye bye Pope) or other organizations. Most people don't even know what their dreams are. They complacently accept their surroundings like chameleons, making their little cog fit the wheel.

I respect individuals of vision and faith who lead themselves and others to a better place. That could be athletic prowess or anything else as long as it's coming from a genuine desire to learn and accomplish.