Why Am I Afraid To Tell You Who I Am?
I read this book (link above) in my first semester of college for a course I took called Interpersonal Communication. The professor was a vibrant woman and this class, like Psychology, Philosophy and Sociology showed me what a wonderful thing education could be when it was relevant to life and people and discovery and happiness. Prior to that I thought education was something the establishment used to control the populace and make us into good. productive cogs... which, of course, it is. But, I found it comforting that state sponsored education at least made some show of "teaching us not what to think... but HOW to think".
Anyway, this course was even more of an eye opener than the others and certainly contributed to my eventual choice of communications for a major. Although I've always enjoyed performing and sharing my voice, my interest in communication truly has as much to do with a desire to listen and learn from others as it does with a desire to impart my own message or imprimatur onto others. The joy I get from others is all about watching people incorporate the new knowledge they need with what they already have and seeing the gestalt and happiness and peace result.
That type of joy happens more frequently with my children than adults. In fact, I've found that most people are strangely resistant to growth and even more puzzling, resistant to enhancing their own happiness. Their brains have made transmission after transmission over the Distrust Highway which is now a massive six-lane affair. The colorful, relaxed little routes around the brain shut down, unused, long ago. I mean this literally. Thoughts start in consciousness and manifest into the world and, to do that, they travel along pathways of neurons and synapses in the brain.
That's how kids learn, they get trained to use certain pathways over and over. When I trained in gymnastics, you just do the same trick over and over and over until the pathway of neurons becomes so refined and set, you can do the trick flawlessly. In becoming skilled at certain things, though, we shut down other pathways.
We get into habituated ways of dealing with input. Once I realized how phony the camaraderie of the workplace was, I became concerned that spending 60 hours a week trying to keep from getting plowed under would affect my whole personality. If I had continued dealing with people repeatedly who wanted nothing from me other than to win, I was concerned I would start perceiving the world at large in this way and become too jaded and cynical... mistrustful. I would have missed so many opportunities for friendship and caring.
Although it took great economic risk, I chose instead to spend my time around children who loved me. That too, had its costs. Over time I lost those pathways that were about my individuality and personal vision. I think the trick in life is to look for those roads less travelled. We all miss some things, and I've always wanted to make sure I wasn't missing some element of happiness in life that I should have, we should all have.
Anyway, I also took a course in Mass Communications... of course, this is where all the money is. You may get peace and satisfaction from your interpersonal communication, but if you want to make any money off it, you need a medium, and, I don't mean paint... mass media... the kind controlled by mass money, the big American industry. And mark my words, in the end, we'll have tech and entertainment. The dying days of the American empire are in the hands of the Neopet princesses, so cultivate their tech skills and their imaginations, cause that's all we'll be left to... but, I digress.
Back to the book... I remembered its name wrong... I think. As I remember, and I guess I'll have to go scout for the book and take a look, it had the word "really" before the last word. I mean, even the most guarded and hidden among us is not afraid to tell you who they are, as long as it's about their position and status etc. They're not afraid to tell you that they're successful or rich by telling you about their vacations & what they buy their kids.
But, they are very afraid to tell you who they REALLY are, the secret longings and dissatisfactions and disappointments, the fears they barely understand, the insecurities they can't even face. Why? Well, Powell's got it right. If you tell people who you really are, and, they reject you, they've rejected who you really are. That is the ultimate pain and fear... that people will see who we really are, deep down, and reject that person.
It's one thing to put some facade out there and have that be trumped or rejected... but to put your real self out there and have that rejected... that's painful, really painful. And, in order to avoid that pain, people will live their whole lives inside their heads, afraid to really reveal their feelings to even those closest to them.
Anyway, this course was even more of an eye opener than the others and certainly contributed to my eventual choice of communications for a major. Although I've always enjoyed performing and sharing my voice, my interest in communication truly has as much to do with a desire to listen and learn from others as it does with a desire to impart my own message or imprimatur onto others. The joy I get from others is all about watching people incorporate the new knowledge they need with what they already have and seeing the gestalt and happiness and peace result.
That type of joy happens more frequently with my children than adults. In fact, I've found that most people are strangely resistant to growth and even more puzzling, resistant to enhancing their own happiness. Their brains have made transmission after transmission over the Distrust Highway which is now a massive six-lane affair. The colorful, relaxed little routes around the brain shut down, unused, long ago. I mean this literally. Thoughts start in consciousness and manifest into the world and, to do that, they travel along pathways of neurons and synapses in the brain.
That's how kids learn, they get trained to use certain pathways over and over. When I trained in gymnastics, you just do the same trick over and over and over until the pathway of neurons becomes so refined and set, you can do the trick flawlessly. In becoming skilled at certain things, though, we shut down other pathways.
We get into habituated ways of dealing with input. Once I realized how phony the camaraderie of the workplace was, I became concerned that spending 60 hours a week trying to keep from getting plowed under would affect my whole personality. If I had continued dealing with people repeatedly who wanted nothing from me other than to win, I was concerned I would start perceiving the world at large in this way and become too jaded and cynical... mistrustful. I would have missed so many opportunities for friendship and caring.
Although it took great economic risk, I chose instead to spend my time around children who loved me. That too, had its costs. Over time I lost those pathways that were about my individuality and personal vision. I think the trick in life is to look for those roads less travelled. We all miss some things, and I've always wanted to make sure I wasn't missing some element of happiness in life that I should have, we should all have.
Anyway, I also took a course in Mass Communications... of course, this is where all the money is. You may get peace and satisfaction from your interpersonal communication, but if you want to make any money off it, you need a medium, and, I don't mean paint... mass media... the kind controlled by mass money, the big American industry. And mark my words, in the end, we'll have tech and entertainment. The dying days of the American empire are in the hands of the Neopet princesses, so cultivate their tech skills and their imaginations, cause that's all we'll be left to... but, I digress.
Back to the book... I remembered its name wrong... I think. As I remember, and I guess I'll have to go scout for the book and take a look, it had the word "really" before the last word. I mean, even the most guarded and hidden among us is not afraid to tell you who they are, as long as it's about their position and status etc. They're not afraid to tell you that they're successful or rich by telling you about their vacations & what they buy their kids.
But, they are very afraid to tell you who they REALLY are, the secret longings and dissatisfactions and disappointments, the fears they barely understand, the insecurities they can't even face. Why? Well, Powell's got it right. If you tell people who you really are, and, they reject you, they've rejected who you really are. That is the ultimate pain and fear... that people will see who we really are, deep down, and reject that person.
It's one thing to put some facade out there and have that be trumped or rejected... but to put your real self out there and have that rejected... that's painful, really painful. And, in order to avoid that pain, people will live their whole lives inside their heads, afraid to really reveal their feelings to even those closest to them.
posted by Intervision at 5:19 AM
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