Book Group

I had book group last night. I always feel so blessed to have this group, I thought I'd post about it. When my son was born, I didn't do some of the usual Mommy stuff like the little specialized mommy/baby groups. Still coming off a highly professional mentality, growing up in the 60's-70's with ERA, Women's Lib, having had an artist, definitely not housewife-type mother... I just did not relate to the mentality, the image, the role, the submission, the mental deadness, the whole bit. I did all the Gymboree, child-oriented stuff, Eric was in every class the city of Palo Alto offered, but I had no real social context or support system for what was my actual job & role at that point.

By the time my daughter was born, I was getting pretty isolated and starting to repeat some of what I had witnessed growing up... a frustrated, angry mother, devoid of an emotional support network. I loved being able to see the rapid growth of my amazing children and really learning about selflessness in a way all the meditating and studying could never achieve. I felt fortunate to be able to focus on them. But where loss of ego teaches, reveals truth and intensely deepens connection, loss of identity wasn't all good...especially when you have an insecure husband as your primary reference point. This isn't some monastery. This is Palo Alto, baby!

When Bria turned one, and my parents did not even send her a birthday card, all sorts of realizations about my own childhood started flooding back and I had one of my major life epiphanies. I started to see my entire childhood for what it was. I went back and read all my diaries, from the time I was 14. At that point, I could no longer be in denial. I could not believe how I had been treated by my parents and realized that at some point I would have to speak up. I did so in a very gentle way, but, as soon as I poked, all the angry denials and venom came flying. To make a long story short, while attempting to reconcile, I was unwilling to completely recant my life experience, though I was willing, wanting, to forgive and move on. I eventually lost the relationship with my parents and sister, after giving it over a year to rise above being a horribly and completely toxic situation.

But, as I found out again with my more recent pruning, the divorce... when God closes a door, he opens a window. At the same time, I realized I did not have to repeat my parents introverted mode and I made the decision to create community around me. The year that followed saw me very involved in my church, my kids' schools and mostly, my fantastic Evergreen Park neighborhood. I threw about ten neighborhood parties in that next year, started a Mom's group at Peers Park, we rented the Field House and did art projects & music with the tots. I also started the book group. Well, starting that book group was one of the best decisions I've ever made in my life and now, nine years later, I still reap the benefits every month.

Unlike some of the book groups I became aware of, which were closed and exclusive, the women in my group have been very open and have brought in a number of women over the years. The original core is still there and we have an extremely steady, robust group of 13. I think about how stultifying those closed off groups must be now, though I doubt they notice.

Although they're all great moms, this is not quite the demographic I find among the women at my church and kids' schools. Some of them have been in senior ranks of management at places like Intel and NASA. We have high-profile money managers for financial insights, a doctor for complete medical knowledge, engineers, writers, lawyers.

Last night, Carol, who is the President of the Packard Foundation (oddly enough, we also have the #2 in the Hewlett Foundation) told us about a trip she took to Ethiopia with her 13 year old daughter, Hana. The Foundation supports birth control all over the world. She talked about what they saw there... ten year old girls contracted out for marriage and genital mutilation and rape. I see such high awareness among these women and it stands in increasingly sharp contrast to these insular PTA-type housewives I know who just seem to be going more and more inside their own little world of empty gossip.

So, that's it... my friends, neighbors, homies... I feel so very blessed to have this amazing group. And, I must say, they are quite indulgent of me. I can't even remember the last time I read the actual book. I'm not interested in reading any more women as victim novels. I don't need to enter that world over and over. I much prefer my own. It's probably been a year since I've read fiction. Being such a supporter of the arts, I regret dissing authors, but, I don't have the patience for it now and don't count on this next generation for much interest.

I read the blogs and websites and downloadable non-fiction books and periodicals, usually several hours a day. There is too much info I want to keep abreast of for me to waste time reading about one downtrodden woman after the next. Yes, they all rise above the shitty lot left to women in their world and we can all see their cages far more easily than we can see our own.

Last night I threw out a bunch of stuff about the restrictions on our freedom from this excessive copyright law and they seemed to understand the issues quite readily, even though none of them had much familiarity with the it. It just shows how easily awareness can be raised. They quickly understood the value of society having a vibrant artistic sensibility. Other issues, like skipping commercials and fair use copying will be a bit more difficult as there is still an assumption that IP is like tangible property. Just wait till this summer... little do they know that when it's my turn to pick the book.... you got it... they'll be getting a big old load of Intervision.

Fogarty's Fantasy or Fantasy's Fogarty?

CBS Sunday Morning did a small piece on John Fogarty this morning. Their stories usually have a light, happy ending bent, including this one. After creating 10 Gold Records and 6 Platinum Albums for Fantasy Records in the late 60's/early 70's, and making millions and millions of dollars.... for that label, he left. He left with nothing. After contributing one of the greatest liberal legacies to music the world has ever seen, what Bruce Springsteen described as Hank Williams level contribution of socially conscious, simply crafted songs which go right into our cultural legacy... the man was left with nothing but bitterness and defeat and contributed nothing to music for 18 years.

But, Fogarty is a musical genius, and can't just lay dormant forever, despite being, in his own words, "in jail". So, in 1985 he released Centerfold, which was a hit. Fantasy sued him for infringing their copyright, ostensibly for sounding too much like himself. They owned him. He did not own himself... can you imagine what that feels like to an artist? The CBS story goes on to say, yes, yes, his wife, his kids, he's playing music, he's happy... and that was all they wrote.

Well, CBS, there's a lot more to the story. Instead of shining your light on this little family happy ending, why don't you talk about what's really happening here. Fogarty's story is the story of what happens to 99% of our artists, the only difference is that Fogarty has such an incredible magnitude of genius, he overcame what the others couldn't. CBS also does not mention that Fogarty not only won the lawsuit but got attorney's fees, the first to do so. Thus, he did much to chill some of these frivolous lawsuits. It shows you the gaul of these labels, with reluctant courts only willing to step in when things get this egregious.

I literally cried at this story just thinking about shutting down an artist like that for 18 years. It is an absolute crime against humanity and those in their little Fantasy world will have a lot of karma to deal with. To think that those rapists will own that CCR catalogue, virtually forever, makes me sick to my stomach, ripping off an 18 year old boy who turned out to be one of our greatest songwriter/poets. They want to take credit for him? They murdered him.

Come and Get Me

This is the planned title of my next visual art project. My last one was reflective of the emotions I was trying to work through during my divorce. There was a loss of the intact family and I had many concerns about my kids. Having seen them throughout this past year, my concerns are alleviated, as is my focus on this issue. I'm in a great place, emotionally and in every way, these days and just don't have much to express artistically on this subject.

My artistic focus at this point has far more to do with larger social issues. I take most of my inspiration from some of the sites listed at the bottom of my list of links, like Illegal Art and Detritus. These artists build on the blocks of our culture, its images, its sounds. This is what artists are supposed to do. What would we be without artists like Duchamp and Warhohl to point out the way we see the world around us.

By painting a Campbell's soup can, Warhohl was trying to make us aware of the fact that these corporate images were our de facto art. Should he pay Cambell's for the privilege? Think of how much art would have been lost, is being lost, will be lost and what our society will be without that kind of comment. This type of art has always been provocative and it has always been attacked and misunderstood by some.

Awareness of important social issues usually first form in the academic and artistic communities. And often it does fall on these small groups to find ways to publicize and raise the issue to the public through a variety of mediums; the courts, stunts, inroads into mass media, grass roots, now the internet.

So, Come and Get Me is basically a taunt to the powers that be. The first piece will be a collage of album art from major labels. Folks like Metallica, the Beatles, Don Henley, Sheryl Crow, Prince and, of course U2 will be the anchors for my little hall of offenders. After that I'll probably do one of all the musicians who would thank me for the exposure, much less sue me... the grass roots and small indie label bands. After that, or maybe even incorporated in, will be snips of court papers from the hundreds of thousands of persecutions that have taken place as artists, software developers, scientists, particularly those in genetics, investors, entrepreneurs and others live in fear and uncertainty from excessive copyright control.

What's so abusive about the law is that it does nothing to protect collage and mash-up artists from unscrupulous rights-holders who demand 50% or more of the profits from a work where their image is one of dozens, or hundreds, in there. Works of art in these categories are as creative and original as in any other, but because the building blocks are images and samples instead of notes or colors... they are persecuted.

Anyway, I'm open to suggestions and contributions regarding this assemblage. Next will probably come some mash-ups, though, maybe not... I'm still too happy with the live performing.

Riding Giants

I thought this would be a drama, like Blue Crush, the fabulous modern day Gidget. But this is a documentary, highlighting one of the longest running subcultures, if not countercultures, ever. Whereas the Beats were prompted by writers Ginsberg and Kerouac, who, in many ways defined the ethos, and the hippie movement seemed to also flow out from the art community with writers like Kesey and Tom Wolfe to heighten and define it, the surfer lifestyle long predated the art form, and these other subcultures. There was a cohesive, sun, fun-loving culture around southern California's waves about as soon as the boys came home from the war.

Now when you've got sunshine and skimpy clothes and tans and waves and fun-loving kids, right near Hoolywood... well, it didn't take long for someone to capitalize on that. Gidget was a huge hit that propelled the surfing scene from a few thousand to a few million in 1959. It spawned a long spate of Beach Blanket, Frankie Avalon/Annette Funicello hits. The heyday was '65-'69 when the Beach Boys promoted and provided the soundtrack for the scene, like the Dead did for the hippies.

It's very much a subculture in the sense that it is a lifestyle, people can be fully immersed in it as a way of life. But, it has a self-limiting feature in a way. Surfers are not looking to build anything, they're not trying to change the world like the Beats, hippies, communes, cults, religious communities and almost any other type of subculture you could name... they just want to catch a wave. They're not driven by ideals, or even ideas, other than to enjoy life in a way most of us dare not.

And actually, at this point, surfing has become a somewhat codified sport with it's players and hierarchies. Last time I was in Laguna I had a long talk with someone about the surfing scene which can be less than pretty because there are lots of surfers, and a limited amount of waves. They are not seeking to expand their ranks.

Now, talk about your testosterone, these guys are pretty far out there, especially the big wave riders, which is the subject of this film. I grew up a few blocks from the ocean and went there all the time, especially in HS, and even though I'm pretty adventurous and have great balance... it's a bit much for me. I've been churned in the ocean enough times to fear it. These guys are wailing down 80' mountains, often almost vertical cliffs, that are, essentially, chasing them. The strength of mind and body required to do it is greater than any endeavor I can think of.

But, that's the rush they look for. The risk, not to mention skill, is huge, but so is the payoff, the thrill of a lifetime. It's a bit like The Right Stuff, shedding some light on the mindset of people who are willing to live life on the edge. They are willing to face their fears and the awesome, uncontrollable ocean every day. These people are centered on living their lives to the fullest, finding out what they are made of, in the face of God's true expression of power, not making money. They know what it's like to be fully present in connection with God, because, that is clearly what it takes to ride those waves. I really respect that.

There is a real brotherhood, I only saw one female surfer in this whole film (and I guess women don't have "the right stuff" either). The attitude these guys have toward each other is different from the mountain climbers who do not feel particularly compelled to rescue each other, it's sort of every man for himself. But, with the advent of towing into waves, the surfers all take extreme risks to pull their buddies out of gnarly sets of successive breaking waves. When they lost one of their own, they all lined up their boards in memorial. So, check out this fantastic indie film, which was bought by Sony at Sundance. It's chock full of fascinating info on a little explored sport/lifestyle which has had a big influence on the American psyche.

The Musician's Perspective

standard contract clauses
I think it's important to consider the issues of copyright and music over the internet not only in terms of the public and the conglomerates who supply/control/brainwash it, but in terms of those in the middle of all this. When Mommy and Daddy can't get along, it's always the kids who suffer. In this case the "kids" are the artists who everyone says they love and want to protect and nurture.

The labels are suing, screaming and lobbying to protect the artists, that is their position. The consumers say, no, you don't love them, you screw them over, WE love them. We're the ones who cough up the dough, go to the concerts, buy their records & T-shirts, listen to them.... we're the ones who really care. Well now let's take a look at how those kids are really doing and how they really feel, because we need these artists to remind us what life and love and music and freedom are all about... before we forget.

Moreover, there are many players and interests in this game and even within the ranks of musicians, and other groups, there is vast difference of opinion. We have the legislatures, Federal & states, particularly CA & NY which have been active in this area. Recording contracts and RIAA's practices have increasingly come under their scrutiny as musicians have organized. The courts have been burdened with sorting out this mess, giving rise to a huge economy of lawyers who have interests of their own. We have tech companies, many of whom, from Intel to Snocap have been individually and collectively interested in this as IP is a huge area of risk and growth for companies, particularly as start-ups, which brings in the $18B VC interests, a primary growth engine of the US.

We have the artists, in every medium, who have to live in fear and poverty, without career trajectories, being raped from every angle, with no public support, which brings us to the public, the 6B folks in every corner of the world who've been exposed to American entertainment. A quick look at the various parties who've filed amicus briefs in Grokster give you an idea of the many competing interests (3/1/05 post).

What I'd like to focus on here is the perspective of the musicians, who are, in many ways, at the center of all this. My basic take is that the musicians are divided, as they are in any Capitalistic system, on the basis of whether they perceive themselves as owners; primarily, as owners of copyrights. On the one hand we have musicians like Don Henley and Sheryl Crow, both of whom own the rights to many compositions. They formed RAC, not a link on the right, because I only choose links that represent what I guess I'll now refer to as the workers... musicians out there looking for a career in music but who have no valuable copyrights.

RAC has an impressive list of supporters, most of the major names in popular music. Now, in many ways, these are the good guys. They are successfully educating and advocating for start-up level acts vis a vis the labels. The link on this post exposes the seedy truth of what happens to those "getting their big break", the opportunity to sign with a major label. RAC is advocating for changes and has been able to get some progress, but they still accept the current model of distribution unquestioningly, completely discounting the internet as a potential avenue of growth. They call the idea of selling music over the internet a fantasy and they are as rabid about downloading as the labels.

On the other end of the spectrum we have the increasingly long list of sites where unsigned artists DO sell music over the internet, and give it away. In the middle are a number of groups such as the Future of Music Coalition which represents musicians at a variety of levels and shows the breadth of opinion and choice. One thing is clear to me. Artists who ignore the internet do so at their peril. It is an incredible medium for promoting and purchasing music.

Copyright owners see the internet as a leaky boat, with their property interests spreading uncontrollably into the world. It's like the overprotective parent who needs to retain dominion and control long after the child grows up. Henly has contributed some great songs and wants to keep reaping their benefits as long as possible, so do the many RAC supporters. They take the desirability of their product as a given, they are not interested in promotion. But, 99.9% of all musicians DO depend on promotion, just like any company.

I think the path for most bands is to build audience through performing and internet exposure with the goal of grooming themselves toward a label. There are a number of groups geared to helping acts make that transition, such as Taxi. Once they sign, the label will look at what's been built and advance accordingly, and at that point, it's usually the end of building an audience. By the time the record comes out, the group has probably already lost it's focus and now is trying to produce a commercial sound, which may or may not be the sound and feel that nurtured the love of their fans. They also soon realize that there is virtually no hope of ever seeing any more money from the label, and they become just another one of the 99.9% who stop right there.

Of course the labels go on to say, "see why we deserve that VC dough... we take all the risk, it's one in a million that sells". True VCs with that hit rate would go down right away. But, that's because VC's lose their shirts on the losers. Not the labels, they make money off everyone because the acts make the risky investment themselves - it's all deducted against their side of the profits, not the label's. The labels advance what they know they can make from the band's carefully analyzed fan base, so they know they'll clear their outlay. The windfalls are just free gravy on top of that.

Labels exploit market factors, the huge amount of people who would love to make a living in the arts, and, who have talent, and, their exclusive monopoly on the means of distribution.

I (") Huckabees: Externally Enhanced Awareness or Clash of the Titans?

The title refers to my 12/7/04 post, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind: Externally Enhanced Denial. Both these films came out last year and it's a mystery to me why Sunshine garnered so much more attention from the Academy than Huckabees... word is, it's too abstract and conceptual. Sunshine required viewers to remember only one abstract concept - people can forget. This one coughs up more philosophical theories than Will Durant. Anyway, the two films are like opposite sides of the same coin and scream for intervision comparison.

They also represent trends in films that analyze and explore reality like Memento & Being John Malchovich. More recently, as in Butterfly Effect & Big Fish, the trend is to use composing CG in more mundane backgrounds. I believe Forrest Gump was one of the first films to do this. In this one they had some great Picasso/Brach-like effects of reality breaking up into cubes that provided a great visual theme for the film. Film is the medium most like reality and suits this kind of exposition beautifully, visually showing the nature of reality.

So, in Sunshine, we have the Dr. Pangloss Protestant approach to life, the guy wants it all nice & superficial & goes in for the mini-lobotomy. Jason Shwartzman's character, Albert, is not looking for repression but answers. He wants to understand what connects these disparate experiences and feelings that compose his life. So he turns to the dynamic duo of Lily Thomlin and Dustin Hoffman, who demonstrates the interconnected nature of the universe as explained by almost all the Eastern religions by using a blanket. They then follow him 24/7 to find his answers.

The service is far more than most psychologists today provide, most of them require the patient to verbally expose their lives and only step in to observe if the law requires it to protect a child, as with social workers. However, patient reportage is highly subjective and the advisor is at the mercy of the exposition they receive. I went for counseling after my divorce, just to see if it would help. I knew far more than the counselor, at least about my own life, she spouted the usual stuff about helping me see what I wanted.

That's what they do, help people see what they want or need. Fortunately, my best friend of twenty years knows me well and is constantly upping herself, she's a noted psychologist herself, running a growth and leadership center. Thank God I have her because it is not easy for me to find people who can understand me. There's so much going on in my life and mind, it's too overwhelming for someone who hasn't been kept up to speed.

Anyway, back to the two films, I'm sure you're expecting me to compare the two approaches, and I will, but, only one is a philosophy. The other is a neurosis. The reason I compare them is that I believe most people employ repression and denial as a de facto philosophy because they've never bothered to develop a real one. They fail to understand the need for one. I've met so few people who can speak about their lives in such a way that shows an understanding of how their life experiences, particularly in childhood, affect their day to day decisions & positions or how all of that plays into a larger goal for their life, much less the world. Along with the gloss and denial goes a smallness of mind.

Now, don't think I haven't tried. I've put together a number of consciousness-raising type groups, including one at my church which lasted for years and dozens of women from the church attended at one point or another. We explored our faith as Christians and got pretty philosophical, and also revealed more of ourselves than we were typically allowed. Since this is a Congregational Church, "one step away from the Unitarians", it was very liberal in terms of the doctrine, barefoot & pregnant stuff, but still, I would say the primary focus for the moms was their families and not larger issues. It's the same with the men, only it's more about jobs, tech, sports.

I look at it like this. Cameras can have a close up lens or a wide angle lens. So do we. We need to pay attention to the daily reality, especially when we're driving cars, but, also when we're driving ourselves. There are kids, colleagues, demands coming at us constantly, endlessly... one thing after the other. Is each thing totally separate? In a way, yes, each probably demands a certain amount of our time. In other ways, no. It's all connected, if in no other way than it's all coming in to our mind. Because time is limited though, I like to use it efficiently.

When you take the time to construct the paradigms and understand the bigger picture, the wide angle lens, you know where to put stuff, so that it's there when you need it, but don't have to carry it around all day. You don't end up wasting your life looking at the small stuff only to get to the end and wonder if you chose the right course or what it all means. And when some challenge or issue or new idea comes my way, I know where to find the answer and connection that will give me comfort, direction and understanding... something denial can never provide. In my physical and mental homes, it's organized.

As to the last part of the title, Clash of the Titans, the Titans are the two basic world-views. There are six major world religions and as many philosophies as there are people. This film accurately portrays the thinking of many of the world's great philosophers. As you can tell by David Russell's commentary, they guy knows his shit. It's a virtual smorgasbord of ideas about the ultimate nature of reality.

But, there are only two basic views; God or no God, order or chaos, meaning or coincidental occurrences. This is different from denial, some people are more than willing to look at the unsavoriness of life, may relish it, but still not believe in any greater consciousness or interconnectedness. Where others see God, they see an absence.

Whereas the vast majority of us believe in a higher power, at least when asked about it, nihilists & existentialists are focused in the present and tangible. They can deal with some abstraction, but not as much as someone who can focus totally on the present as well as the theoretical superstructures at the same time. That ability is more like the gurus and yogis, monks and nuns, who attempt to do both simultaneously but often need very simple lives to do it. Zen also focuses very much on experiencing your life fully as you live it, but sees a higher order.

Anyway, I could go on like this all day, and used to. I spent many years very deep into philosophy, meditation, Eastern religions, communes, exploration of more conscious ways of living and thinking. In the 70's there was a big push into this self-help stuff that we now take as part of the landscape. Attention to Eastern thought in the West grew out of the music and drug scene, particularly when the Beatles got interested in the Kesey/Dead scene and went to India to visit Maharishi Mahesh Yogi. This was no dry philosophy class but very experiential in every way. Philosophy is useless as an academic exercise, which is how most people learn about it and continue thinking about it. An active philosophy is like what the Christians call the living Christ or living Bible. It's something that guides your everyday experience.

I liked the fact that the characters in this film, weird as they were, took the time to question and look at what was happening in their lives. The purpose of a good belief system is that it can provide great comfort, direction and inspiration. But, it's important to keep that belief system alive by paying attention to your feelings. Sometimes people set it and forget it. They've got the church, the structure, the routine going, but you have to keep resizing it or it can start to constrict.

Sometimes the bigger picture shows us who really supports and loves us. Often those closest to us want to keep us in a certain place, the place they found us, a place that is convenient for them. They know us and love us and we want to deliver... but, at what cost. Sometimes the cost is a compromise of who we are and what we need.

Other times, we seem to be at odds with someone, but realize ultimately that the conflict or itchiness spurred us to where we needed to be. In both cases, the picture looks very different depending on the perspective. That's why it's important to talk to others about ourselves, our lives, and get real with others... to get perspective.

Amicus Briefs for Grokster

The Post is pretty good about tech news, this hasn't even been put on their on-line docket yet. I'd like to see the complete list, it should be pretty interesting, just like the Petitioner's amicie. For instance, it appears Orrin got the entire state of Utah to file an amicus.

Here's a list of who is appearing at the Press Conference today.